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Encounter with Ex


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Ex and I met last night and got pretty drunk...it was tons o fun. On the way home I realized that I left the keys to my apartment at work (not by design...we had no intentions of meeting up). So she was like "come stay at my place" and I was like "OK...Ill sleep on the couch" and she replies "no, you'll sleep in my bed". So she is sort of wrangling with the idea of me spending the night...so I said I would go stay with friends and made a call. I said goodnight and she was like "wait...lets sit here for a minute"...and then she said she wanted me to come home with her. As were walking back she starts talking about her feelings, about us, about all of that...I went along with it without getting crazy about it. I have had alot of time to get perspective on the whole thing - so I say very clearly how I feel, what I think happened, how I feel about her and WHY. The conversation gets pretty passionate and deep...which I think is good. She needs to get it out...she has been avoiding alot of it for a while. So I stay over...we dont make out, we just cuddle and spoon and fall asleep.

 

Thats it...Im not going to do anything at this point...Im just going to sit back and give the whole thing some time to breathe.

 

Any input,advice would be helpful. Thx, BNB

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I think what's really important here is that you're going to "sit back and let it breathe". It's hard to say what's going on her mind but I bet part of that night was the alcohol talking. We drop our guard and our emotions and libido come spilling out. We say (and do) things that we normally wouldn't do when we're sober. I'm not saying that she still doesn't have feelings for you but it may have been easier for her to do so being drunk.

 

You don't mention if she's a recent ex or if either of you has moved on. Focus on communicating your (and her) feelings. Get on common ground with your feelings about what happened to separate you, then mutually work on a perspective of where you see the two of you going in the future. I'm guessing that you have remained "friends" after the break up (which is not always easy). I wouldn't do anything more than what you've already done. If she's been avoiding it for a while maybe she still needs time to sort of things in her head.

 

Good Luck.

 

JSHRN

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