How do I deal with a crush?

[squidX]

I'm currently involved with a guy who I think is a great match for me. However, I've recently developed a crush on another fellow whose 7 years younger than me (I'm 28, he's 21 What can I do to suppress this interest and keep myself out of trouble?

[Aardvarks need love too]

Yo Squid

 

I think that it is setting a bad precedent to deny what your heart is telling you in the first place. Seriously, it has a mind of its own and the more you try to deny it and lie to it, the more it will betray you.

 

While it might hurt the person you are currently with, but to keep yourself in one relationship when there is something else that is itching at you will only cause you to resent the one you are with, in my humble opinion.

 

There is a song by a group call Pretty Ricky, my favorite song of theirs is called "Age ain't nothing but a number." Stupid name of a song, but it is still true. I am 24 but am very mature for my age since I was 9. If this person is 21 but you still feel a kinship and he acts ina way that pleases you, then there is no reason to take that into account. My sister is 39, she has been married for 8 years and her husband is 8 years younger than her. He was 23 when they got married, but they are still going strong. Why should age matter?

 

Anyway, in response to your question, If you really want to get him out of your system, which I don't think you can, you could always just cut off all contact and spend extra time with your current boyfriend. Or you could sabotage it. Curse him out. If he doesn't like smokers or drinkers, you could smoke and blow said smoke in his face while you are drunk. Odds are this will only add guilt because you will have done it on purpose, but there is a reason you feel the way you feel and to try to ignore it will be a recipe for disaster.

 

Hope I said something even vaguely what you were looking for. I tend to rant so I am sorry if I went on too long.

[squidX]

Vark,

 

Very clever you are...good feedback. I can't cut off contact unless I find employment elsewhere. I think I just need to sit tight let nature run it's course. Very sweet story about your sis too.

[arcadefire]

It's natural to have crushes but it could completely damage the relationship you have right now with your current boyfriend. I would slowly let your contact fade away with your crush, and if you couldn't then let all interaction be completely platonic, no flirting.

[knightNshiningarmor]

if i understand this right....you advocate throwing way a good relationship for a what is most likely a fleeting crush...if all the enaers listened to this advice i have a feeling there would be a lot of saddened people with big regrets.

[SupaflyTNT]

Crush bad, great match good. *nods vigorously*

[Aardvarks need love too]

I'm not advocating throwing anything away. I just have this feeling that if a persons heart is telling them something and they blindly ignore it, its not solving the issue at hand, its ignoring it. I'm really advocating everything BUT ignoring it. I have done this before and always ended in resenting the person I feel held me back. If you talk to the person who you have new feelings for and let them know that while you do feel something its not potent enough for you to leave what is a wonderful relationship, then you are at least stating that it can't happen and then they can stop flirting, if they are, and you can go forward in the relationship you don't want to fail. Then you are also left knowing that you faced temptation, told it to back off, and remain true to yourself and your partner.

 

I hope that explains my position better.

[ghost69]

crushes fade. stay focused on the guy you want.

[squidX]

you're right...crushes do fade...I'll get over it soon I'm sure...I miss my friends from my hometown and this younger guy reminds me of a few of them...

[ghost69]

you're right...crushes do fade...I'll get over it soon I'm sure...I miss my friends from my hometown and this younger guy reminds me of a few of them...

 

then befriend him and don't look at him in that other way anymore.