Should I call her or not?

[Disillusioned]

Here's the drift. I broke up with my ex of 4 years due to an infidelity issue (on her behalf, not mine). Anyway, I wrote her a ver long letter about 2 weeks ago telling her how I felt about the relationship we had and how I felt about the break-up. I also stated in the letter that we should have no contact whatsoever if she felt the problems we had could not be fixed. I haven't heard from her since.

 

In the meantime I broke the "no contact" clause by sending her a couple of messages over the last weekend (all go weak after a couple of drinks don't we??). These messages did not incite any sort of hostile response from her. Matter of fact, she didn't reply at all.

 

Anyway, I sent her a message asking her if I could call her sometime to see how she's doing. I told her that although we're not together did not mean that I had stopped caring about her. She did not respond to this message either. So my thinking is:

 

1: If she didn't want me to call her then she would have replied in the negative.

 

2: She wants me to call but won't admit it due to her pride. Hence the silence.

 

So my question is, should I call her or not?Given that she hasn't said yes or no to my request, I really don't know what I should do.

 

Over to you guys..............................

[AN]

She's a girl...girls are messed up crazy...we will never understand. Anyhow, you sound like a stalker.

[dophar]

Anyhow, you sound like a stalker.

 

Goddamn, I must've been a stalker all my life...

 

Call her- it's not going to hurt! Just don't make the mistake I do by asking,"Why didn't you call me?!?!?!?!?!"

[Self Discoverer]

Hello disillusioned

 

I'm sorry so say it, but it sounds to me that she has moved on with her life.

 

Yor breakup is still very raw and you need to get to a point where you can accept that your relationship is over. If she isn't responding to you then she is telling you that there isn't hope. If she really wanted to get in touch then believe my friend she would. In all probability she has moved on and you need to as well.

 

I've learned this from experience. I've spent months thinking that at some point my ex will come to her senses and find out what she's been missing. She hasn't and she won't.

 

The only time that you will be ready to call her is when you don't want to call her and when you don't want to have a relationship with her. The more you contact her now, you are giving her greater justification to any wrong she did to you in the relationship.

 

Just let her be and accept that you will learn to love somebody else. It is easy to say and almost impossible to do I know, but hang on in there and things will get better

 

I

 

You need to show a great deal of inner strength and try to shut her out of your mind. Imagine a mental bouncer blocking all thoughts of her.

[Disillusioned]

Just an update on my original post guys. First of all I just want to clarify something to A/N and anybody else out there. I'm no stalker. Never have been and I don't think I'd ever stoop to that level. If I did, then I'd probably bump into my ex, who's now living somewhere under a snake's belly (that's how low she can get......trust me).

 

Anyway, turns out I didn't call her and I'm glad I did. No need to get involved again I feel. Just getting on with my life and I feel a lot better as the days go by. Amazing what a few weeks can do for your tormented soul.

 

So to all you guys who replied to my post.............Thanx. Greatly appreciated.