xtiarax Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Many of you know that my ex contacted me last night and wanted me to call him so i did, it seemed like he wanted to work things out but then he wanted to still be mates with me and said that he broke up with me for my own good, and asked me if i knew why he broke up with me. Anyway he wants me to come around one day next week to see him and hang out, he said he will text me when he is off from work. I just wonder what i should do when i am with him as i still love him and do not know how to act around him to make him think that i have got over him. I told him that i have a new boyfriend but i havent and i want him to care and want me back, He said that he likes me and doesnt want to lose me as a friend. So i just want to know what i can do when i am with him to make him think that i am over him, even though i am still in love with him. I mean i dont want to lose him for good and maybe he will get back with me if we are mates do you think? Or will it just stay mates? Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 You are worrying. A good friend of mine said that a good relationship never comes with that much worrying. Id say to close the door on your previous relationship with that guy before starting a new one. Go ATLEAST a month with NC. Get your head/thoughts on straight. If he calls/txts etc, don't answer. Maybe let him know you need this month. HE DUMPED YOU. If he really loves you and wants you back, then waiting this month to show that he cares for you should be easy for him. I bet after a month, it is you who doesn't want him back. Your gorgeous. Get out there, meet other guys and see how fast you realize this looser wasn't good enough for you. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Bad move here Tiara! We told you not to call him back. You just set yourself up for more pain. Listen to this scenario that happened to me. Back the first time my ex and i split after a month she called me wanting to hang out as friends because she cared about me. I gave it a shot thinking maybe i can win her back. The whole time i was wondering if she was seeing or talking to any other guys but i couldnt ask her cause it would ruin my chances. I still loved her but couldnt show it cause we were tryin to be friends. It finally got too hard to keep the friend roll going and i told her, what do you think happened? she cut me off all over again.It broke me and traumatized me for a long time! You cant contain your feelings with someone you still have feelings for. It doesnt work. The only way to possibly win him back or even be mates is if you part ways for now. The damage, pain, and heart ache is still present now. Nothing has changed so if you two start hanging as friends i gurantee its gonna crush you more! you need to tell him that you still have feelings for him and dont think its a good idea we be friends right now. Just be honest and tell him how you feel. He knows he can have you when he wants and he is using this to his advantage, AND YOUR LETTING HIM!!! Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 drew > Good advice. By complying with him, all your doing is pushing him away further. Go NC. You are too good for this guy. Get him out of your profile. Hide everything you have that reminds you of him and move on. Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 But i do think that if i see him as a friend next week that maybe i will start to see him like all of my other mates and not love him no more. Maybe i need to tell him face to face becuase i dont like doing it over the phone or text. Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 But i do think that if i see him as a friend next week that maybe i will start to see him like all of my other mates and not love him no more. Maybe i need to tell him face to face becuase i dont like doing it over the phone or text. You still have him as your profile. You are so not over him, which is ok. You need to go total NC. You are only hurting yourself. Go NC for a month at the very least. Heal yourself, and then reevaluate. Everyone here cares for you, and have all been in your exact shoes. Listen to us. Stay NC, get your head on straight and in a month you will be saying it is the best advice you've ever received. Trust us. Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 But he is going to text me next week to go and see him so i dont know how i am going to stay in NC as i know that i will probably go and see him. I want to see him to tell him face to face that this is not going to work for me and i do not think that i can ever see him again Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 i agree with brian. Tiara your being stubborn. No offence sweetheart but were giving you solid advice and your choosing not to listen. whats the point of this then. we are talking through lots of personal experiance of pain and tears. We dont want to see you go down the same path. You seeing him SO SOON will not work. Like brian said. give it atleast a full month of no contact. Imagine his confusion if you texted him or called him to tell him that you feel that right now its too hard and a bad idea and that you two shouldnt talk anymore. He is going to be in shock that he doesnt have you in the palm of his hands. You want the ball in your court, not his if you want any chance. I know you prefer to tell him in person but we all know that when you see someone live and in front of you, your decision making fails. be smart! The point of NC and mourning is not to remind yourself of this person but to forget about him. I noticed in your profile pic some dude? is that him? if so you are make YOURSELF pain by puting up reminders. Your doing this to you as he is doing this to you so your getting hit with a double sided hammer. Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 Im not saying that i am listening to you all, im saying that when he texts me to see him that i am likely to see him and do not want that to happen Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Many people learn by trial and error. Intelligent people learn from others mistakes. Listen to what we are telling you here. GET HIM OUT OF YOUR PROFILE AND OUT OF YOUR LIFE. You are only prolonging the healing process. Go NC. If he texts you so what. What he did to you was a slap in the face. Plain and simple. He is using you. If someone walked up to you on the street and punched you in the face, how would you feel? What he did to you was 100x worse. YOU OWE HIM NOTHING. Go total NC, listen to us here. No ifs, ands your buts about it. Stay NC. Stay here for support. Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 So he doesnt care about me? He is playing games? Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Im not saying that i am listening to you all, im saying that when he texts me to see him that i am likely to see him and do not want that to happen Anyone can text anyone at anytime. If he texts you, ignore it. Or better yet, try not to even read it. Whatever he says, do not respond to him at all. Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 So he doesnt care about me? He is playing games? Not to sound rude, but 99% of the guys out there would probably be out bragging to their friends how "they could still get some from you if they still wanted to" and thats why he has you on this leash. Coming from a guy, Ill admit, the vast majority of guys are total jerks, especially ones in their late teens. Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 Not to sound rude, but 99% of the guys out there would probably be out bragging to their friends how "they could still get some from you if they still wanted to" and thats why he has you on this leash. Coming from a guy, Ill admit, the vast majority of guys are total jerks, especially ones in their late teens. Hes 23 so he isnt in his late teens Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 So he doesnt care about me? He is playing games? Im sure he does care tiara and he may or may not be playing games. If he is, just like brian said, he is probably bragging about it. He may also not intentionally be trying to play games but it just happens sometimes. You said if he texts you, you will most likely go but you dont wanna. Its simple. DONT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You dont need us to tell you that one. Your gonna get hurt again tiara. When i was going through my breakup and people here told me not to pick up calls or see her, i didnt listen at first. well i regretted it and wished i did listen. Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 This goes back to the old saying of: If he was to ask you to jump, would you ask how high? No i just care for him thats all Link to comment
brian123 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 No i just care for him thats all And WHY do you care for him? He is using you. He may not be in his late teens, but he sure sounds like he is. He sounds like a little boy. Find yourself a man. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Hes 23 so he isnt in his late teens OH SNAP!!! you just gave it away.. he is 23, your 18. Now he really knows he has you in control. You like the older men i take it well this guy has a bit more of age and experiance over you so he may know what he is doing. dont get sucked in! I wont lie tiara i had my points where i was a play the field dog. I hurt alot of innocent women and this is how i gained alot of my advice because some of them were blunt enough to tell me how what i did was wrong. When i was 23 and would hook up with a 18yr old, i KNEW i had her in the bag cause she was young. I know you and i have touched nerves on the age factor but its REALITY! Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 And WHY do you care for him? He is using you. He may not be in his late teens, but he sure sounds like he is. He sounds like a little boy. Find yourself a man. Why are you talking about him like that? And find myself a man what is that about Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 Well is it my fault that i still love him and i am finding it very difficult Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Why are you talking about him like that? And find myself a man what is that about Tiara, these people on here are acting in your defense and your defending a guy that has kicked you to the curb. Look at yourself. Im starting to realize that you enjoy these sort of games. stop being a firecracker and listen! Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 Tiara, these people on here are acting in your defense and your defending a guy that has kicked you to the curb. Look at yourself. Im starting to realize that you enjoy these sort of games. stop being a firecracker and listen
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