I'm still having trouble letting go

[NametheGame]

It's been three months since the break up (3yrs relationship, we're both 20) and I still can't seem to let go...I have times when I'm fine, but then I get reminded of him and start running things over and over in my mind trying to understand...He never talked about anything that bothered him before the breakup, and after he's refused all contact. So I can't get any answers, I only have theories, and it's driving me crazy!

 

What can I do? I don't want to get back together or even be friends or anything like that, never did, I just want him to tell me what happened... :sad:

[duppy_conqueror]

this is just part of that grief process i guess...eventually, as time heals ya, you'll be ok not knowing the full story and the breakup in general. keep that in mind,.

[Angel_baby]

There will always be questions. No matter how many answers you would get it would always result in more questions.

 

Hang in there, it hurts really bad right now but in time you will heal and be able to move on with your life.

[Clabs]

Hey NametheGame

 

Three months is really no time at all and it is quite usual for this stuff to come swirling to the surface every once in a while - if only heaking were linear, eh?

 

Angel baby is right though - no matter how many answers there will always be more questions. The thing is, that even if you did get some answers, you wouldn't know if you were being told the truth or not. Some people say all manner of things during a breakup. They may not want to tell you the real reason because they don't want to hurt you or they are gutless and don't want the guilt.

 

Keep on keeping on - because slowly and surely you will begin to find your own peace and your own answers.

 

It may seem hard and harsh that he has decided to go completely no contact with you but in reality, it is a whole lot better than him being there and constantly yanking your chain.

 

Mark

[tushboy]

Hey its pretty normal what you are going thru....each one of us has and maybe IS going thru the exact same phase. Images, memories, words, incidents keep conjuring up in your mind, how did they say what they did ? , did they mean it ? are they thinking of us ? are they moving on ? do they miss us ? are they seeing some one else ? so many questions....and you know what you ll never get the answers...at least not now...you'll have to answer them yourself. ..everytime you get such thoughts just tell yourself IT DOESN'T MATTER....yes....it DOESNT MATTER what they think or what they are doing or what they are going thru....its tough...but each time you say this line in your head you feel a bit more free, relaxed and confident.

 

They chose to leave us, whatever the pretext was the truth is that THEY ARE CHOOSING to live each and every day WITHOUT US...its a CHOICE they are making...similarly YOU too make a choice....a choice not to let this bother you....not to contact them, muddle your head with questions.....

 

I ll tell you the best thing to do is POST HERE.. come on these boards, you have some amazingly strong people who have gone thru worse situations and emerged winners, and you too are a winner in every way.

 

STAY STRONG. We are with you. Hugs.

[NametheGame]

Thank you everyone who posted here...you're all wonderful and you all help more than you know. Just talking about it and getting input clears my head so much.

I'm going to bookmark this and come back and read all your comments whenever I start feeling down about it.

[Clabs]

Heya!

 

So glad that you are feeling better about this stuff - this place is a god-send, isn't it!

 

Come back when you need to - great to have you around.

 

Mark