will she ever see???

[Nifty_Swifty1]

My ex broke up with me about 4 months ago, but that really isn't what this is going to be about. The problem is that I have always been brutally honist with my friends. If I see a problem I tell them about it and expect them to do the same. Well, since my ex went off to collage, She's only 2 hours away from her home, she's been showing her worse side to the people she use to call her friends. I've been talking to most of them about it and they seem to see the same thing. There is only one friend back home that she can still get anything out of, so he's the only one she bothers to talk to. Her Best friends is going to the same school, and wrote me the other day and said basickly that the same thing is going on there. That Lindsey has turned her back not only on her friends back home, but also on the friend that she's going to school with. Now, 4 months later some of her "new" friends are starting to talk to her "old" friends, and those of us that know her are pointing out the fact that once a friendship is inconvienent for her, or she isn't able to get what she want's out of her friends that she'll drop them.

 

Now she's all mad at us that when her friends asked us about our friendships with her that we told them the harsh reality of what we've seen. Now not all of us are people that she's turned. Even the guy that she still makes an effort to talk to (she can still get him to give her money) is saying the same thing.

 

The problem is that I'm the only one bold enough to tell her that myself, so I'm the worst of the bad guys.

 

I guess my question is, is there a way to get someone to see a problem in them self, or will she always just overlook this, and make excused for her actions. All of us still love the girl, but we also want her to better herself and stop using people.

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

Not from the Ex' boyfriend, that is hard as hell, most women can't even see it when their still with the boyfriend. Boyfriends make women get defensive. Your dog could have barked the same thing you say and yet if you say it, its "tears, anger, and meow/claw/scratch" I think you need to talk to a mutual friend a work on getting them to approach her in a very non confrontational way. this is probably the best thing.

[enadevoli]

it takes any one some time to realize they have a problem like this. its hard to say when she will realize what her problem is, but hopefully once she realizes that she has no friends, she will think that there is some thing wrong. some times pointing thigns like this out to some one doesn't work, some people need to learn the hard way. it seems like some thing is going on with her if suddenly she is treating every one this way. she might be stressed or some thing. i think its good that you have pointed this out to her, maybe it will open her eyes a little, but i really don't think there is any thign you can do really besides what you have already done. its good that you all still care about her because once she realizes this problem, she is probably going to be regretting a lot of things & feeling really bad for all of this, so she will need people to help her out.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

This hasn't been a resent development. The people that have know her the longest say that they have always seen it, but now that they aren't always there its happening to them because it's no longer continent for her to be there friend. I guess the reason it bothers me so much is because all of my better friends have never been convenient for me to be friends with them, but that's what has made our friendships so strong. I just can't imagine having friendships that are so shallow. Even her closest friendships are only skin deep. I guess I just shouldn't care so much. It's her life and she can be as shallow and heartless a person as she wants to be.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

This hasn't been a resent development. The people that have know her the longest say that they have always seen it, but now that they aren't always there its happening to them because it's no longer continent for her to be there friend. I guess the reason it bothers me so much is because all of my better friends have never been convenient for me to be friends with them, but that's what has made our friendships so strong. I just can't imagine having friendships that are so shallow. Even her closest friendships are only skin deep. I guess I just shouldn't care so much. It's her life and she can be as shallow and heartless a person as she wants to be.