im going crazy with anxiety understanding this still!? help!

[prettyhate]

I really am a mess today. We broke up – but he cheated on me 2 months ago and were together over 2 years. I don’t get it he cheated and I could never get it out of my head. He hates cheaters.

He hated * * * * s and everything he became and did that night but never once stopped and somewhere decided to do it – even now its killing me he pleaded for me to take him back and I genuinely knew he was upset

Do you think that is is possible that I am just a constant reminder of what he hates now – as in I remind him of what he did and so he had to end it with me cause he cant handle his own demons and issues?

I don’t know im so confused trust was such an issue for him he always told me how trustworthy I was…………………….. and then did everything he hates to me??????????????????

I don’t get this and im trying to move on and get closure and I cant he said his decision is final its not working it wasn’t working and its not right???????????

It killed me i do not get it why did i go to counselling for him and invest so much emotionally

and now he just is over me?

so quickly

[LifesontheUp]

Hey, I know how much you are hurting but IMHO, I think you have had a lucky escape. He cheated on you, you took him back and he dumped you........possibly for someone else if you look at his behaviour of moving on.

 

My xH of 14yrs, together for 18, cheated too. He hated his father so much when he found out that he had cheated on his mom that he never spoke to him again - his words were "my fathers dead to me for the hurt he caused my mom, I hate him". He detested cheaters yet became one himself.

 

I went through a phase of trying to understand how he could do something like that but let it go in the end. I don't think you will ever fully understand what goes through the cheaters mind when they do something like this. What I did realise was that what he did was for his own selfish reasons and I didn't want to be married to someone like that any longer.

 

You will get past this in time, I promise. Try not to dwell on the whys etc, just accept that he was selfish. Accept that you are worthy of someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.