5 year relationship ended and i feel like dying

[CustomX]

It's been 3 weeks now since the breakup ive been doing pretty good for the past week and a half and now tonight im feeling really bad

i broke down and cried out of nowhere and felt like i was worthless person. She is off having a great time with her new boyfriend...she gets to be happy while i sit here and cry and be sad and depressed! all my life i have been unhappy because ive never had anyone and noone has liked me or loved me like she did....now its back again...i feel like a POS and i hate my life soo much i want to kill myself why do i always have to be unhappy why do i always end up crying!! i hate it.......i just want to die and noone is going to stop me. i lost my faith in god because he hates me and likes me to suffer.

[Charlee]

Hang in there - It's bloody hard, but ride through it the best you can. It's been 7 months for me now since my 5 year relationship ended, and I remember feeling like you did back in those first weeks.

 

Talk to people about your feelings - you must have a friend or friends, family members, someone who you can pour your soul out to and cry on their shoulder. It eases the pain a bit.

 

I know it sounds unbelievable at this point, but it does get easier.

 

Take care.

[Jordan42]

Listen to Charlee. You CAN get through it. Don't ever give up on the idea that you can be happy again. *hug*

[Mar]

They're right....everyone knows how hard it is to lose someone you love and have been with for a long time, and the gaping hole their leaving puts in your heart. But you said you've been doing alright for the last couple of weeks.....you're going to hit these bumps in the road. Don't let it get to you that badly, to say that God hates you. He doesn't, trust me.

 

I thought the same as you did when I finally, FINALLY found someone, we had this fantastic relationship, then lo and behold, he eloped with some woman he'd been seeing on the sly for 4 weeks (4 WEEKS? You gotta be KIDDING ME!) and neglected to tell me. I was devastated......figured I'd have to have done something pretty rotten in my past life to have deserved this. But I ended up being a lot happier than he did, turns out, since his wife was abusive and pretty psychotic.

 

Moral of the story: there could be a reason you don't realize in why this relationship ended. If she left, then she didn't appreciate the qualities in you that made you love her and respect her, and wasn't the person you were meant to be with. Which means that there's someone ELSE out there who will come into your life, most likely when you least expect it as what happened to me a few years after my fiasco, and you'll see the difference and be thankful that your ex DID leave! I know that's not much comfort now, but I've learned this from bitter experience and had to believe it so I didn't fall into that black hole of depression.

 

You'll get through this. Every day the pain eases a little, and some days you'll have setbacks where you'll miss her terribly. But one day you'll wake up and realize you didn't think about her at all the day before, or you'll find yourself laughing over something inane, and realize you're healing. Just give it time, that's all you can do. But DON'T give up. There's so much out there to do and see and experience, and this pain you're feeling now will fade and you'll get to do all those things, and meet someone to do them with!

 

Mar

[CustomX]

i feel like screaming.....and after i scream i hear the eco......and let go of my anger my depression my sadness and people around me just look at me in pain while my heart tears into pieces and just feel bad and hold me until i feel better again..She called me today and we talked for a while and she asked how i was doing..i told her im doing pretty good and im better then i was. but then again i told her i was upset last night and i cried. she felt bad....but it was a good talk and this time she wasnt mad at me.

[livelifefully]

I am so sad for you. I am also recovering from a two year relationship with a woman I loved more than life itself. For reasons of her own she chose to end our relationship. I am terribly sad since I couldn't have loved her any more than I did. She meant the world to me and I would have given anything for her if she wanted it. But she didn't. Anyway, I do understand how you feel. Don't fight your feelings but don't give up either. I signed myself up for rollerblading lessons, I am teaching myself to play the guitar and I signed up to volunteer in a non-profit organization that helps needy children. It feels like nothing or no one will replace her right now but perhaps in due time someone more deserving will. At least I know I can love as unconditionally as one possibly can, just like you. You sound like a really good person. Just get out and start making yourself more visible. Perhaps someone more deserving will take a second glance at you and change your life. Stay in touch but never, ever give up. Life is a gift, give your love to others to keep this gift shining.