To call or not to call?

[candice378]

So Im a senior in college and I have bitten off quite a lot in the past month (2 jobs, full credits, putting together my portfolio, and right now I'm moving) Wa wa, I'm fine I just have moments where it gets to me. Tonight I was trying to work on my project for my Flash class (if anyone has ever tried learning flash you might understand my utter frustration) Anyway, I didn't understand the homework and was getting more and more confused and upset as hours passed.

 

So I called my boyfriend (quick background dating for a biy more than a year, really chill healthy relationship, not planning the rest of our lives together just having a good time and love each-other) And I was upset and just looking for some support. I cried a little and was at loss for what to do.

 

I apologized later online for being a mess and he (long story short) told me he didn't want me to call him like that anymore. (I offered it as an option because he said it just makes him feel hopeless and then is left upset himself)

 

Anyway, is asking emotional support from your boyfriend to much in situations like this where they can't directly help? Should I just deal with and cry and * * * * * to my cats and leave him out of it?

 

I always thought one of the pros of having a bf was having someone to talk to when you had a crappy day or are upset about something lame. But maybe I'm wrong? Could it be that it is asking to much and instead only multiplying the number of people that are upset?

[Lana0120]

If you were like that most days, I could see his point. Even if you're upset, it can get to the point where you become such a big drama queen, he'll be wondering hey... why did I even like her in the first place? However, if you don't get as upset as that on a practically daily basis, then yes, when you occasionally feel down, I would have thought your boyfriend would want to help you - even if it was just by listening to you on the phone and saying things that make you feel better. He may feel helpless as there isn't much that he can do by telephone, but leaning on each other sometimes is part of a normal relationship.

[candice378]

Yeah I def don't do it often. Very rare that I cry in general let alone to my bf. Were both very non drama people. He just feels like I want him to have an answer and does not know how to deal with it without an answer. I totally get that but usually when the situation is reversed I try to make him happy again by doing funny things or trying to change the subject or reminding him how he CAN do it.

 

I'm fine not calling him in those situations, I can deal on my own...just nice to have that comfort of someone who won't judge you, you know?

 

Sorry, all 3 of my good girlfriends are consumed with boys as the moment so really no one to talk to seeing as the bf doesn't want to so thanks for the comment.

[SnoopyLove]

It could be the case that he doesn't like hearing you upset and not being able to do anything about it. He can't give you a cuddle etc and he doesn't like that..

 

That is most probably what he means by it.

 

But, it's pretty poo that he doesn't want you to call him at all when you are upset, because he should be giving you some emotional help by just listening to you or whatever when you are feeling down!