Tiptoe Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Hey I don't want any advice really, just need to vent. Woke up this morning feeling really down, cried and am crying now. I feel like an idiot, why do I keep falling for this person even though he doesn't want me. He behaviour shows to me that he is not interested yet I keep persuing him...I feel so stupid. Why doesn't he want me? No one wants me? What do I do to guys to make them not want me. I have no problem attracting but it is holding onto them which is the hard part..they never stay interested. Am I such a boring person? I just want to curl up in bed and hide away from the rest of the world but I have to face this guy again later and it's going to kill me, I don't think I can cope. Link to comment
beentheredonetha Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 OMG! You are saying the same exact thing I am feeling right now. I was up until 3 am talking to him where he said he just wants to be friends with me. That he would miss me too much if we were not friends. I know he cares about me a lot and i care about him. He thinks I am an amazing person, so, if I am that amazing, why does he not want to be with me? All of my friends think I am pretty, outgoing, smart and a lot of fun to be with. Where do i go wrong when i am with a man I start caring about? I am feeling so terrible, not at him or because of what he said, just that I don't know what I am doing that makes it not work. Link to comment
lillie Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Maybe there is something in the air,because i felt very down when i woke up this morning. I even pm'd my friend here on ena telling them...They actually cheered me up too Maybe we can cheer one another up?? Link to comment
Tiptoe Posted May 4, 2008 Author Share Posted May 4, 2008 Thank you for replying. It's a horrible feeling isn't it? I hate waking up feeling like that, it's almost as if everything is ok then reality hits and everything is back to normal again. Cheering each other up would be a good idea, I spoke to my mate about it and she managed to cheer me up but I wonder for how long? I don't want to see him later because I know I will just feel rubbish again. Link to comment
beentheredonetha Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I am thinking about what could cheer me up. A cup of tea, a walk in the park, a good cry. I can't even cry because I am confused and not devastated. I don't feel good but it is not the end of the world. I hate it when i am practical in my low period! Link to comment
PushingDaisies Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Hey! I woke up feeling down too getting depressed over my ex again. Anyway, OP, if you have trouble keeping guys, I highly doubt it is because you are boring. Go to amazon and look up 'why men love * * * * * es' by Sherry Argov. I bought it after my ex broke up with me, and although it wont help me get him back, I think it will help me not make the mistakes I made with him again. I know you didnt want advice, but just thought I would recommend this Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I'm sorry you are feeling this way. When I start to generalize and be negative even though it's one specific situation - or one specific person - I go to the gym or for a long walk usually with my favorite music. Link to comment
beentheredonetha Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Tiptoe, I did not pursue him, he pursued me, relentlessly. It is not even a matter of acquisition for him. He is younger than me and totally confused - maybe he doesn't want to say that he wants to be in a relationship with me forever. Eventually I stopped letting him pursue and started meeting him halfway or maybe before he even started to seek me. Everything was fine, until last night, where he said he doesn't know what he wants but needs to go find it. Something that I have been telling him to do for the past few months that i have known him. why the heck does he have to listen to me now, when i started liking him a little more? Maybe it is the thrill of the chase that keeps them going? If that is the case, they need to realise it won't always be like that. Link to comment
lillie Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 To all.... We are feeling the same but for different reasons... I am feeling better already talking to some lovely people here,thank you Wouldnt it be great if we could all meet up at a nice cafe somewhere scenic so we could sit out & do coffee or lunch & really listen to & help one another.. Link to comment
PushingDaisies Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 That would be great ... if we werent all over the world lol! You and I live in the UK tho lol But yeah, whenever I am feeling down I come on here, reading peoples advice and knowing that I have their support even though they dont know me ... its amazing. Sorry to be soppy Link to comment
PushingDaisies Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Maybe it is the thrill of the chase that keeps them going? That book I mentioned talks about how guys like women who they have to work for, women who respect themselves and won't sacrifice themselves for their partners. Basically, yes, guys like the thrill of the chase. But once youre in a relationship its about maintaining their respect, and thats about giving each other time apart as well as time together. People dont like to be suffocated even if they are in a long term relationship. I learned that the hard way. Check out the book!! Link to comment
lillie Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 That would be great ... if we werent all over the world lol! You and I live in the UK tho lol But yeah, whenever I am feeling down I come on here, reading peoples advice and knowing that I have their support even though they dont know me ... its amazing. Sorry to be soppy I know,if only money & every day commitments werent such a bind!lol They say money doesnt make you happy,but it does & iv always argued this. If i was filthy rich now i would pick each of you up at your local airport & we would do lunch!lol Well i have to nip out now,but i will think about how nice it would be Have a nice day everyone,and if you cant,have a better day than it started off as! Link to comment
Tiptoe Posted May 4, 2008 Author Share Posted May 4, 2008 Sounds like a good book, might have to check it out. I think this guy definitely likes the thrill of the chase, but I don't like to play games, if I like someone I let them know. I probably don't have that much respect for myself as my self esteem is quite low. I guess he is not the guy for me, it's not like I wanted anything serious anyway but I guess nothing will ever happen now. Ah well I can't wait to meet a guy that will actually like me for who I am. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Yes, you will meet that guy but on your end, it probably will take your work on your self esteem because it sounds like you don't like you like you are, so why should someone else? Link to comment
beentheredonetha Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Since he is ten years younger, i never wanted anything more with him, when he was chasing me, i was actually not interested. I don't think i am suffocating him, but i know that i am letting him put in far less effort. he does all he can to spend time with me (tries to see me everyday), says he is confused, doesn't want anything more than friendship. I feel terrible for even being mad at him because he is doing what i had been telling him to do all along. I guess our timing is messed up, he wanted me when i did not want him and now that i want him, he is trying to move on in the direction i pointed to him! Link to comment
Tiptoe Posted May 4, 2008 Author Share Posted May 4, 2008 Yep I have realised that it stems down to my self-esteem, I have real trouble actually believing and respecting myself. I am trying to work on it but it is very hard. beentheredonetha - Yep have been on the end of wrong timing, it's awful isn't it? Hope it works out for you. Link to comment
beentheredonetha Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 TipToe, I don't think it will work out with him, i am not even going to try to make it work with him. About the book, well, I am not like that so what is the point in being that way. wouldn't it be like playing games? It is not that I do not respect myself or throw myself at anyone, but i would be there for the person i am in a relationship with, and if he can't appreciate that, i need to be with someone who would. Link to comment
Tiptoe Posted May 4, 2008 Author Share Posted May 4, 2008 You have a very good outlook on things, and i'm sure you won't have trouble finding someone who will appreciate you. I think I need to sort myself out before I move onto anymore guys. Link to comment
beentheredonetha Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 TipToe, so will you. I think you have a fairly good idea of what you are all about. I wish you the very best in whatever you seek to do. Link to comment
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