I don't understand myself. =(

[iloveyoumorethanyouknow]

I don't understand myself.

 

I don't get it. Why do I always get so sad all the time. I hate this feeling. It always makes me feel like I'm alone. It's something I just can't explain. I don't even know what I'm saying. Ugh. It's like.. I always have this longing in me. It's like, sometimes I just see sceneries or paintings or photos of certain things and I get so sad and I feel lonely. I always have this vision in my head of events that I wish I was in or moments that I wish I could relive. Like sometimes, the certain feeling late at night with the fan turned on, it makes me think and it makes me sad. I have no idea why. Then there are moments when I just want to quit and give everything up and leave, go to a place where no one knows me. I've tried it already, though, but it didn't completely work out. I dont know. It's like, I always like to be alone, but sometimes I get tooo lonely. I lived in an apartment by myself for almost a year and a half. I liked it. It's like I have this feeling of just always wanting to be alone. It's as if I feel like no one ever understands me, that i'd rather just think to myself all the time. I don't even know if this makes sense, but I know the way I say it, isn't exactly the way I feel it. It's just so hard to explain in words. Anyway, I lived in an apartment alone for a while, and sometimes I would just take late night walks, and look at the scenery of my surroundings. I feel relaxed, but at the same time, I feel so sad. When I think about it though, the company of someone being there with me while I walk and look at my surroundings, I don't want it nor do I find it as relaxing. At the same time though, I get so sad. This is like a jumble of mess and everything i'm saying probably sees all out of place, but I don't understand it either. okay, I guess what i'm trying to say is that almost always, certain sceneries like the lights outside at night, beaches, sunsets, sunrises, snow, the moon shining through my window, the fan turned on in the middle of the night, waterfronts, it relaxes me, but at the same time, it makes me feel sad. Sometimes I would go to the waterfront near where I live and I would just sit there for hours. Those feelings that I felt then, sometimes they would just run through me and I get so confused and I want to just leave and drop everything and be alone. I get really really sad and emotional and I just don't want to do anything and I feel really down. I don't understand myself. If anyone understood this, please help me. =/ I'm in that state right now. Really sad. =(

[NoPainNoGain]

I feel exactly the same way. When I feel like that I take a time out and appreciate the moment for what it is. I can relate to the fan. It feels good,but reminds me of my ex. But I say screw her,she aint taking my fan happiness away. I used the fan before her.

[Wolf_22]

Hmmm... I used to feel like that, and every once-in-awhile, still do. The thing I have found that beats that feeling is patience and persistence. Take time out of each day to think about everything that makes you feel the way you do. Inventory it, finds solvents for it, then move on. Remember that change usually doesn't happen over night, so the longer you keep persisting to do better than the day before, the more likely you are to succeed at making your life better for you.

 

Hang in there man! It gets better.