What am I to DO!!!!!

[Jambolia]

I'm best friends with a girl, I've liked her a lot for ages and I've never had the guts to tell her, I was afraid that if she knew she'd run a mile. Everything was fine till another bloke started showing interest in her, she likes him, but when i asked her if she fancyed him she said no she didn't. But then she got drunk and i *think* got off with him. I was feelin bad and started to avoid her, she went around asking all my m8's if she'd done anything....i'm ramblin sorry.

 

Ny way we work together on saterdays. I got on really really well with her when i didn't fancy her but now I get embaressed and don't know what to say to her, so my other best friend (got 2 one male one female *her*) told me I should just tell her cus it's getting me down. So I did and it was the hardest thing i've ever done, but rather than run a mile or ask for some space, she hugged me and asked me why I hadn't told her. I just explained that I didn't tell her cus I was expecting anything to happen I just needed her to know. Now I don't know how to act, how can I act like I did before when she told me things. Do I talk to her about it, will that put her off me? or do I try and act like nothing happened? And what about this other guy, he's really flirtatious and I'm not thought i'm game for a laugh. Do I ask her out, even though she said (before i told her and about the other bloke) that she didn't have time for a relationship. I don't know...............any help cheers

 

update: she's told me she doesn't like me like that :S so now i feel even more like crap, and she likes the other bloke. I'm not gonna lie i've never felt this rubbish in my life. . . . . and i can't get away from her so i'm. . . . stuck

 

P.S. pardon the spelling

[enadevoli]

well, its good that you got your feelings out for her. however, you can't really do anything about her feelings. if she told you that she doesn't like you any more than friends, then im sorry but i don't think there's much you can do about it. i think you should just continue to be friends with her. just try to be yourself around her, like you used to. it might be awkward for a little while, but if her friendship is worth it, just try to beat the awkwardness. if she starts dating this other guy, just try to be happy for her, as hard as it seems. she's not going to want to be around you if you are upset about it.

[Jambolia]

The way i'm feeling now I don't know if I can. to put it bluntly I loved her and and still do i can't put it any other way than my heart feels torn in two, it's true what they say once you've had you heart broken nothing can touch you. I will try to be happy for her she's my best friend I just need to sort myself out somehow.

[Mar]

It's your call. If you're upset about putting your heart out there and having it rejected (which is completely understandable, believe me) just let her know that you have to sort things out for yourself and that you need a little distance from her to put her back into the place she was before you admitted your feelings. (Easier said than done, I KNOW, believe me.) But you have to look out for yourself first, so it's your needs that come first right this second.

 

But it'll get better. It takes a hell of a lot of time, but it does, and eventually you'll realize that you can't BELIEVE you spent so much time pining over her. I was in love with my best friend (male) for about 8 years, and we were INSEPARABLE. Where one was, the other one was, or not far behind. And he never realized my feelings for him because I never told him, realizing early on that they wouldn't be reciprocated.

 

Now he's married and has 2 kids, and I have my fiance, and I laugh to look back at that time and the feelings I had and the time I spent being upset/depressed by them. We're still awesome friends, as well as his wife and I, my fiance and him, my fiance and his wife.....you get the idea.

 

But you'll get over it, and someone WILL catch your eye when you least expect it. Just let her know, in whatever way is most comfortable for you, that you need a bit of breathing room right this second, and that it doesn't mean you care for her any less, just that you have to re-prioritize your feelings. She should certainly understand that! But don't lose the friendship, because that's the MOST important thing!

 

Mar