18th bday...

[keanefanatic]

I'm wondering if I need counselling or therapy or something, just the fact that I have a right to be annoyed, yet I dont know whether my expectations of people are unreasonable.

 

I didn't have a party as such, invited a few friends out. First half started out great, afterwards we came back to mine that kinda dragged and i have no idea why but everyone was pretty quiet. I tryed to liven things up by suggesting we go cinema and then end up at the pub. Only three were up for it the others were making excuses about how we cant go i just thought WHY?! We are virtually doing nothing anyway?! One of my friends was also complaining constantly....

 

We got to this bar late on, and this is where things went downhill...my best friend came and i had a lot of fun with her...although I ended up getting REALLY drunk. Before this some friends had left once we arrived and said they needed to go home making up lame excuses. Some that were suppossed to come later didnt even call or text me to tell me what they were doing and never even turned up...so i was really upset. Kept drinking.

 

I then ended up crying to my best friend begging her not to go to university because she was the only person i could count on and she will be leaving me. By this point things about my friends were dawning on me...whether they are actually my "friends" at all....and i feel really confused right now and alone.

 

But, i was completley hammered...had to stay at my friends and as we were walking to the bus stop being stupid I decided to call a mate that hadnt bothered to let me know if he was coming, i asked him why he did that he made up a lame excuse, i started crying on the phone and talking jibberish, then for twenty mintues straight after getting off the bus i was keeled over near a wall crying hysterically, so bad that someone came shooting out of their house, asking my friend if she wanted help with me. Meanwhile this other friend was still on the phone to me and obviously must have been worried by this point cause he never hung up.

 

I might have gone over the top....but i feel absolutely distraught....its my 18th and how could they all do this to me? Not really caring about wanting to spend time with me at all Or am i just being totally irrational?!

 

I've been trying to think more on it, who is a good friend to me and who isnt? but I am generally confused. For example, one, shes there for me but when i actually want to have fun she is either complaining or has something to moan about...another example, ive said in another post i have a friend over in america and hes been really off with me lately, hes had no internet though for the last 3 weeks so we havent talked but i kinda wrote him off as a bad friend...signing on myspace today i found quite a friendly comment just chatting with me, obviously wanting a reply....but thats got me all confused now, i wrote him off and now hes making an effort....

[keanefanatic]

k, i guess nevermind.

[Cuppedia]

Hello, I don't think you can evaluate who is a good friend or not based on a complicated night when you were drunk.

 

The first issue is that you had nothing planned, next time make sure you let them know beforehand what you would like, a quiet gathering, a loud party, or just going out somewhere and that way you'll know what to expect.

 

Then is the drinking, you might want to consider being careful, if you don't start controlling how much you drink it can have serious consequences with the people around you, if something is bothering you it's okay to discuss it when you are sober, throwing alcohol in won't help and can make it all much worse.

 

Finally, if one of your friends is always complaining you can listen but if she is doing nothing to solve whatever situation then you could distance yourself, depends on what she complains about. As for your other friend if he didn't have internet it's not his fault, try to see things from his side of the story, it was probably difficult for him too, so there's no need to be harsh with any of your friends, there's no person who can always be there for you but it's okay because if it's not one you'll find another and you can be that for them too.

 

Don't feel bad, your next birthday will be better.

[AronSchneider]

Drinking can very be dangerous. I promise you that.

 

When I was like 15 years old. It was more then 8 years ago; I got drunk on party and said some stupid stuff about black people. I took it back the moment I said it but I was excluded from that “group” and still are. When they see me they are very unpolite. Now, I rarely see them but still. I have been drunk on my ex-girlfriends dads wedding and picked a verbal fight with my ex: s best friend. That was one of the reasons why my ex dumped me. Last week I was out on this party and I talk to this girl I had meet like 6 months ago on a small BBQ party that my ex-girlfriend held. This girl I meet later said to a friend of mine “I meet that guy that spoke ill about “disabled people”. This was 6 months ago, who cares? So what did I say, I was drunk and said that I’m not okay with violence not even when its mentally disabled people that use it. People do not forget about bad things.....they remember

 

I have done so much bad stuff in my life because of alcohol. One time I got pepper spray in my face by some skinheads and before that I picked a verbal fight with a really nice guy on party. I have been drunk and talked ill about Americans with Americans. I love America it was just fun at the time to do so. The same year I was on a BBQ party (another one) and talked ill about Muslims. One time I was so drunk so my ex was like 10 seconds from kicking me out from her apartment. This was like three years ago or something. I get drunk once or twice a year or something like that but every time I get drunk I say or do stupid stuff, because I’m the only one that is drunk and everybody is sober or have not been drinking so much. What I say is that alcohol is okay but when you feel that you are about to get drunk stop drinking because it will only hurt you and you will burn bridges you may need in the future!