Going Back/ Same issues?

[littlej]

When People get back together do the issues that broke them up in the first place reappear? Is this most cases? If it is how do you really rectify them so they do not appear again? Most issues that I see are a case of disposition and are very hard to change in the short term.

 

Just looking for thoughts...

[Litgirl01]

They reappear unless both people have recognized the need to change and have worked out their issues individually and perhaps together (ie. couples counseling).

[Mutley]

In my case, the same issues kept coming up--no matter how hard I tried to work with her.

 

I had to end it this morning as a matter of fact because of it.

[Little Blue Ant]

IMO, there are a few things will help the issues from coming back. Time, self awareness, forgiveness, OPEN communication, and then rebuild. If you don't have one of those 3, I believe the issues will be relived.

 

Time: Allows the pain and issues to settle.

 

Self Awareness: Reflect on yourself, your issues, and as a result, grow.

 

Forgiveness: No way to get over an issue if you can't forgive the person. You have to absoltely be able to do this too. Don't fool yourself

 

Communication: Now that you've changed, grown, reflected, forgave, talk about the issues without any consequences. Put it in the past, and start brand new.

 

Rebuild: Start fresh, a clean slate. This isn't the same relationship you had before, so treat it like a new one.