Came to realization - better off without her

[Hopeful99]

So I have been in NC with my ex for a couple of months - she pretty abruptly ended it - said she missed me and then disappeared - made up a bunch of b.s about how bad it was - all after sayig she wanted to marry me - basically she was not stable.

 

Anyhow I had found an autographed picture of her son's fave football player - sent it to her via inter office mail on Monday - simply stating that I found this while cleaning out my home office and thought that her son might enjoy it. I remember how things like that were huge to me growing up. Well - I never heard one word back from her - ait was for her son - not her.

 

Just anothe rexample of her being an ungrateful person.....well you know what they say about Karma - whay goes around comes around and she will get hers someday.

 

Thanks for listening to me vent.

[Maya_A]

It may have been misconstrued as "other intent" or she simply just does not wish any contact at all whatsoever, even "kind gestures"...

 

It's hard to say without knowing the true dynamics of how your relationship was. You also say she isn't stable so if this is indeed accurate than her non response might fit...

[Hopeful99]

I am just saying it is rude to not reply at all - if I got something from an ex whether I had feelings or not I would at least be grateful enough to say Thank You.....typical from her though

[nic2463]

Yes i would have the hump too,they dump you then avoid you like the plague after loving you ..Women..

[Kafani]

I am just saying it is rude to not reply at all - if I got something from an ex whether I had feelings or not I would at least be grateful enough to say Thank You.....typical from her though

 

You have to think from her point of view. She didn't contact you for 2 months, it was probably for a reason...she didn't want to talk to you and stir things up again. And it seems like you are still bitter. You made the first move to contact her again, no matter if it was for her son or not, your motive was to connect to her in some way. She probably didn't respond because she doesn't want to deal with you and your pent-up bitterness. If you're still at a point where if she does anything that YOU think is disrespectful, and you say its "typical her", I don't think she would ever want to talk to you. Real talk.

[Maya_A]

I am just saying it is rude to not reply at all - if I got something from an ex whether I had feelings or not I would at least be grateful enough to say Thank You.....typical from her though

 

If someone no longer wants any connection with another & have said this, then it is not rude to not reply when they make contact.

 

Even giving you the benefit of the doubt that your intent was good & there was nothing else going on in your mind regarding connecting with her (though kafani makes some good points on that) she still has no obligation to reply. She didn't ask for you to send anything for her son & it seems by her non reply that she would have preferred you hadn't.

 

I do feel sorry for your hurt that it went that way, but it seems to be how she feels & IMHO she is entitled to without her being a "jerk" type thing...

 

Take care

[Zeitgeist]

While I agree that the silence may be a bit rude, #1 you don't know the reason why she didn't respond, and #2 I think you sent it with the expectation that she would contact you. You were fishing for some indication she might still care. It's not like she gave you the expectation of being friends or possibly getting back together. Don't take it personally - you have no idea what going through her mind. If what you did was truly JUST a kind gesture, then don't expect anything in return.

[Hopeful99]

Thanks for the input - honestly - just wanted to do something nice for her son....this has just been hard b/c day before breakup she mentioned she wanted to marry me then she wigged out 2 days later - missed me over the holidays - then disappeared after XMAS - then was mean to me when I tried to talk with her - blamed me solely for the breakup

 

I mean I loved her with all my heart - and she just pushed me away - her reasons for breaking up conflicted from one week to the next - then we just stpped talking (she works in my building)

 

So....yes I guess I am still messed up over it.....

 

I hope she realizes what she had some day......it will be too late

[Maya_A]

It sounds really, really painful for you.... Many healing wishes to you...

[Hopeful99]

I had a Thank You card from her son on my desk this afternoon. She must have stopped by and left the card for me while I was in meetings. It is nice she gave the autograph to him - still nothing back from her -

 

Here is what I need help with.........she told me all the time for 20 mos - even before we broke up that I was almost perfect, great looking, sexy, still gave her chills every time we kissed....then broke up with me b/c she said she could not trust her decisions.....then later I was too nice....then later an a**hole....

 

So I am giving her space - I think maybe it was too much for her to handle after newness wore off b/c of baggage from divorce....I love her more than anything and just wish we could still be friends....or if I could do something for her to have those feelings back - we never ever had an argument.....she fell in love once - I want to know how she can fall in love with me again.

 

Until then....NC and on with my life

[SRufus]

It is such a weird feeling with exes. Almost confusing, but one has to accept that it was broke, and you cant fix it, or can you? Im not sure.