Time to end it?

[Baer141]

First post but I was referred here by a friend...

 

Basically, I've been seeing this girl for about a year. Everything is great... we are into fitness, healthy foods, have the same friends, the sex is great, etc etc. Perfect, well-balanced relationship.

 

However, she is moving in 6 weeks to start Grad School in another state. In 6 weeks the relationship will be over. Lately I've been stressing out really bad and we've been getting into "fights" or "disagreements" about how she's spending the little amount of time she has left (i.e. she's not spending it with me as much as I would want her to). And it's not even that... it's that I feel she's not recognizing that everything is ending so soon and she is just flippantly going about her life.

 

I'm kinda freaking out. I love her a lot, and knowing that she's going and that the relationship will be over in like 6 weeks is making me get all possessive. I don't know if I can handle it. She's sort of living in this fantasy world that includes us staying together after she moves. But that's just not going to happen. And I feel she wants to believe that to be true so these last weeks won't be so awful.

 

But my only other option is to break up with her NOW. I don't know if that even makes sense, because I love spending time with her.

 

Help... please?

[_Asti_]

Why aren't you open to a long distance relationship? Why does it have to end? Many people endure the distance when people have to attend school. If you love each other and you have a great relationship, why just walk away and throw the entire year of a perfect relationship away?

 

If its not an option. Walk away. Your relationship has an expiry date on it, why hang on for a few weeks, get angry and pissed, and fight, to just walk away when time is up. Don't drag it on if there's no point.

[Baer141]

Well, I've been in a LD relationship before and it sucks. I'm not going to eliminate her from my life completely, but I can't stand by her for 3 years when she goes to grad school. It's just a bunch of responsibility with little reward.

 

And anyway.. I just know there would be an eventual "Hey, I think we should take a break because a) I don't have enough time, b) I've met somebody else, or c) I'm just not happy anymore." I don't want to wait around for that phone call. I do love her... but I find the idea of maintaining a relationship under the circumstances to be ridiculous.

 

Both of us are mega flirts and I think the combination of jealousy on both ends and frustration in not seeing each other would contribute to the demise of our LD relationship anyway.

[_Asti_]

Well then, I don't see the point in dragging it on if its only causing anger, frustration, and fights. Why force a relationship that expires, ya know? Talk to her about the way things are going, and that you know its not going to last and you feel no point in remaining in a relationship if these is how the few remaining weeks together are going to be like this. Either that, or make a conscious effort to bring it up and make the next few weeks work and enjoyable. Communicate your problems and feelings, talk to her about this and see how she feels.

[rikka]

Well if you are intending to end it in six weeks anyway - why prolong it. You obviously are not enjoying your final days together anyway.

 

She is the one moving away, of course she has things that have to get done and people to see. So yeah, she probably is not able to spend as much time with you as you would like. And if you are spending that little time arguing - well I can only imagine the stress that is adding on her.

 

If you plan on ending it eventually, why not do it sooner rather than later.

[jraf]

Looks like the ladies nailed it.