letteiljmc4ever Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 well my best friend will be turning 18 in may and shes going out with this guy who's 21.theyve been together almost 2 years now. the first year was pretty good. then she got pregnant then had a misscarrage. ever since the misscarrage her boyfriend has been seriously abusing her.just this past saturday i spent 3 and a half hours with her in the ER and turned out she got a torn ligament in her neck and a minor concussion. im the one who always is dragged into it when it happens. her boyfriends friends have tried getting thru to him ive tried my best friend (his gf) has tried. and she wont leave him!! im so tired of having to deal with it its hurts me bcuz ive seen him abuse her. does anyone have any advice on what to say to her!!? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 you need to sit her down and give it to her straight. Sounds like she needs an intervention of sorts. This cannot continue. Any more friends or a possibly a close relative that could help (sister would be best)? Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 like my moms tried telling her straight up and she agreed. and she doesnt have family of her own they all live in the ghetto and constanly call her just to tell her how worthless she is. ive ran out of things to say to her. =( Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 any teacher or counselor that you can talk to? You have to show her how unhealthy this is! Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 i wanna talk to someone else but its not my business to get the cops involved as much as i know its right. their room mate also her bf's best friend said the next time it happens hes calling the police and getting him locked up. i just wish there was something i could do to help her. what can i say?? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 you don't have to get the cops involved. That'd be the last resort, imo. Really anyone with experience in relationships would help. Anyone that can be unbiased and coherent with their advice. Don't give up on her! Tell her that good men DON'T do that. He has no right to ever touch her unless she asks for it. Ask her if she is actually happy with things like this? After the miscarriage, she is probably so confused and worried about being alone. Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 yeah she said that the main reason she has a hard time leaving him is bcuz they almost had a baby together. shes said to me she knows real men dont hit women or girls only immature boys hit girls. i just wanna tell her as hard as it is suck it up and leave him. theres ppl who have been married 20 years with 6 kids that get divorced over stuff like this. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 maybe she should see a counselor because of the miscarriage. It may start out with him helping her through that, and then lead to him helping her with her relationship. Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 yeaH i think its because of the misscarriage hes acting like this because maybe hes upset and this is possibly his way of dealing with it? he wants to marry her she keeps telling him that before they do anything he needs to grow up. but yeah i gess counceling or something... Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Well, even if this IS his way of "dealing with it", it is so emotionally unstable. What is going to happen when something rocky happens in their marriage? He needs to find another method of communication. Link to comment
letteiljmc4ever Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 i agree all of our group of friends are trying to make him realize why everyoines so upset with him right now. he thinks were all turning against him and blaming his gf for that even though she tries to stay quiet when he does this. hes said things about committing suicide over this... its ridiculous. Link to comment
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