buffalosoldier Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 Without meaning to sound harsh, is sleeping with another man really going to solve anything? Is it a win-win situation? No. Have you tried talking to your guy? i can understand your frustration, but if he doesnt know whats up,he cant try and fix it.(Obviously im only speculating,i dont know your situation)and if you and your partner havent tried your absolute best to wrok this out,then i think there are other issues here. Unfortunately some men do suffer with premature ejaculation,and i believe it happens to all men at some point,but surely you could try different techniques or positions? you could make him ejaculate first,then he could work on you then by that time he could be ready for it again? Do you love this guy enough to work it out? Link to comment
akatoro Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 So the relationship is all about sex then? You sound like a horrible person saying what you do. You're not the only one with feelings, you know. Link to comment
enadevoli Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 im sorry to hear that this is making you want to cheat on your boyfriend. however, just to get better sex is not an excuse to cheat on the person you love. if you love your boyfriend, which you must since you have been with him for so long, you wouldn't want to hurt him & cheating hurts any one. you will risk your relationship with him by sleeping with another man. if you can't understand how cheating on your boyfriend for better sex is wrong, then there's probably no way to change your mind about it. Link to comment
akatoro Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 Perhaps you could've told the whole story then? Att first it sounded like you only wanted to cheat because he was bad in bed and not because of all of those reasons you brought up above. But why won't you break up with him before you go to another man instead? Link to comment
buffalosoldier Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 I would agree with you on that,yes. But sometimes love alone aint enough. If you are really upset with this mans behaviour then you should break up with him.Easier said than done,yes,but just coz something hurts does not mean it isnt beneficial to you. He doesnt sound like somebody worthy of a partner,he has cheated on you,and doesnt seem to want to try in your relationship.You said you have tried everything,-well then its ''ultimatum'' time. Tell him what you want,politely and calmly,give him a chance to put action into it,and if you see no result then ''Byesy bye''. You dont have to put up with this,and dont be scared of talking to him,you dont wanna put up with this forever do you?sure the outcome may hurt you,but whats worse?You need to have your needs met as well as him. But dont stoop to his level and do what he did to you,thats the easy way out.Two wrongs dont make a right. Kick him to the curb ! Link to comment
enadevoli Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 if he treats you badly & you are hurt by what he has done to you then there's no point in staying with him. he's not worth it. cheating on him is not going to resolve any thing. its not going to make you feel any better & chances are you will probably end up regretting it later on. i don't see how it can be so hard to break up with him. yes, i do realize that you do love him & you have been with him for so long, but wouldn't you be happier with out him? just because he has hurt you & doesn't treat you good is also no excuse to cheat on him. being in a relationship is making a commitment to that one person. you either want the commitment or you don't. & it seems like you don't want to be with him any more, so why are you so afraid of letting go? from what you have said of him, he sounds like a jerk who doesn't deserve you any way & there are so many other guys out there. Link to comment
davo1066 Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 re the initial problem, the sex thing - if the problem is he keeps finishing first, um, can't he kind of give you a head start if you know what I mean Link to comment
real amour Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 Hi. Dump him fast. No orgasm, mmmm.. let' see I have had no orgasms with a wonderful man for 10 years. I am deeply frustrated. I should have left after a year and a half. YOu have the chance. I am like you. You are right, you have to stick up for yourself. YOu are getting there by saying the part about not hurting anybody else, so in the process you hurt yourself? Is tha better? Are you Jesus, are you that selfless, you are not even a mother yet I gather? (I am, so things are tough). Move on. Show him your posts. Find the courage if you cannot say things up front. It is so hard to stick up for yourself, isn't it? Was your mother a coward, passionless type with your dad? Link to comment
Derek Posted December 3, 2003 Share Posted December 3, 2003 Sounds to me like the problem may be love and commitment, not sex. The sex issues are symptoms. If a person loves another, would they not sacrifice all they had to the other person, submitting to each others needs before their own needs? Wouldn't that mean a couple would sacrifice their pride and risk a little shame to go to the clinics, take the workshops, take the counselling and books to work through the problems for the good of the relationship and not for themselves? ?? Link to comment
SweetypieEnlightenedOne Posted December 16, 2003 Author Share Posted December 16, 2003 Link to comment
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