i just cheated and....

[crazygirl69]

i just cheated on my b/f that i have had for about 5 months...and i really feel bad.

i cheated on him with my ex-b/f...we thought that we didnt have feelings for each other, we just thought we was just going to be friends from then on out.

well today he came over and like we were really flirty...then we were sittin there and like our faces got really close to each other and we, well we both wanted to kiss each other so we did.

i dont know what to do...cuz when we broke up it hurt our friendship a lot and like we were not friends for 2 months and i didnt like it at all...hes a really great guy...but so is my b/f...but i also can tell my b/f b/c he will pull some freaked out crap on this guy........

ANY BODY WITH ANY ADVICE I WOULD LOVE TO HERE IT PLEASE HELP A.S.A.P.

[Mar]

Honesty is the best policy. Tell your current b/f what happened. Yes, he may very well break up with you. But he deserves to know, nonetheless. And yes, it's easy for me to tell you to tell him, not being in the situation myself, but I couldn't live with myself and show love to a man who I'd been unfaithful to. Better to take your chances and let it out now, rather than him finding out later on down the road, which would only make it worse.

 

As far as the ex goes, if you're THAT easily swayed into having physical contact with him, then distance yourself from him a bit. Somehow it was forgotten by both of you that you have someone else, and that's dangerous. If he was a true "friend" as he now claims to be, he would have done the honorable thing and held back his feelings for that kiss so as not to put you in the position you're in now!! Good luck, I sincerely hope things work out alright for you.

 

Mar

[Ash]

A kiss is a sign of affection between two people, or in some cases, from one to another. I think in your case, it's likely more important what your emotions and feelings were leading up to the kiss. You might want to think about that at the same time.

 

What I think you need to think about is what this kiss will mean to each of the three of you. How serious will each of you see it? For example, and I realize this is a completely different situation, it's quite normal for many people to kiss the bride at a wedding. It all depends on how what it means to each of you. I take it though that this one meant a fair amount to you and your ex.

 

In my mind, there's not really much wrong with a kiss in itself. As I started out saying though, it's what it represents. That's what you have to figure out and work with.

 

It's not a definate relationship ender in my view. Deal with it honestly, that's the best you can do. Treat it as a one time thing, don't put yourself in the position of letting it happen again if it's causing a big problem.

 

Personally, I wouldn't be permanently damaged if who I was with kissed somebody else as long as it wasn't a precursor to something more, and they were able to assure me that I was still number one in their life.

[swift44]

I suggest you tell your b/f b4 it is too late because if you wait too long it will only make things worse try to sit your b/f down and calmly tell him whatever you do don't raise your voice or get too emotional let him know how truefully sorry you are .

[caliboy]

why not try things again with your ex? obviously the attraction's still there and you said he's a great guy, etc.

[White Knight]

Him finding out now from YOU will be alot better than him finding out down the road from someone else or even you.

 

Honestly/Truth

[kuhl282000]

Thanx 4 being so honest

 

Just knowing that you know you did something that might put your current relationship on the line is very mature. I do know that for me I'm not ever going to get in a triangle relationship. I have been in a few and seen many. Everyone usually loses in some way or another. What you do is up to you, you might be honest and tell him. He could freak out. You might not tell him, and get away with it..........and it may come back at a later date to haunt you.

Whatever you do, it will not be easy either way. But you can't have it both ways, and you have to figure because you kissed the old boyfriend, well you were sending a message and you have not heard the last of him. You will have to make a choice either way. Door #1 or Door #2 and if you don't choose you may be door number #3.And sometimes door #3 has the booby prize. Trust is a hard thing to get back once the trust is broken. Good Luck and I hope it all works out for you.

 

Kuhl

[The Morrigan]

You've actually got three things you need to deal with and consider here...

 

1) Do you want to see where this was going with your ex, or are you still firmly in love with and committed to your bf? That's something you need to figure out for yourself before you can decide how to approach either of them.

 

2) If you want to stay with your current bf, the first thing I'd consider before you tell him is what you're going to tell him you're going to do to make sure it doesn't happen again - and stick with it firmly. If this includes not being alone with your ex, then that leads to the third thing...

 

3) You're going to have to talk to your ex and tell him what you've thought through and decided. If it's that you need to maintain a bit more distance with him until you're firmly grounded in "friendship," you're going to have to make him understand and respect that. If you decide you want to see where it goes with him, then you need to talk to him and tell him plainly you need to deal with your current relationship first, before going any further with him.

 

I know it seems like a lot of decisions to make, and it is! But having any uncertainty of what you want isn't going to help you be fair to either yourself, or either of the guys involved. Make sure you're really certain in your own mind what you want, and what the best way to make sure you can get there is, and then you can talk to them both, and won't be in the position of making things harder or worse by having to answer "I don't know!" to anything either of them might spring at you. If you're going to stay with your current bf, I'm not saying it's going to be easy to tell him by ANY means, but it will help a little if you can tell him that you've considered everything, and also have firm ideas of what you're going to do to make sure it doesn't happen again.