so deppressed

[zeena]

please help me i cant wake up from bed,i have deep depression these days ,but it really started 3 years ago.i just cant take it anymore,its a struggle for me to live these days,i have a really crapy life,yesterday was my birthday and it was sooooooooooo bad,my dad abused me emotionly like always luckly not phisicaly this time and i just cried all day.i am just sick of everything,i lost the desire to live,i lost hope in everything and i just want to die ,i am half european and arabic girl and i live in the middle east and i really cant do anything about my depression here,there is no resourses ,no counsoulers,no anti deppressents medication ,no nothing and i really need help,i cant live like this anymore.i dont sleep at nights, i cant go to work i dont eat well at all ,and iam loosing alot of weight.iam just so sick of my dad abusing me and i really cant do anything about that .i think iam ready to die in any minute,and i really need help.i have to pull myself out of this.please help me

[jettison]

I honestly don't think that most folks on ENA are particularly equipped to help you with your problem. That said, your problem is particularly dire. You're 20 years old now... do you have any kind of timeframe for leaving your parents so you might live on your own or with a friend? The sooner you do this the better.

 

The most important thing to concentrate on is ridding yourself of the abuse. It has to end ASAP, and it's in your hands. Do EVERYTHING you can to get this accomplished. Make this your #1 focus and goal in life. Once completed, everything else will follow.

 

I'd also recommend going to Amazon and finding yourself some books on family abuse. Amazon rates books by user so you're bound to come accross something helpful.

 

Finally, you have a loooooong life ahead of you, and although it may not seem like it now, it's going to change quite a bit, most likely for the better. Always be forward thinking. Try not to relive the anguish of the past.

[ADrifter]

I am so sorry to hear that. Can you get help from your relatives or friends, even close neighbors? Or find a job and live on your own? Where is your mom? or Any siblings?