I am the 'perfect girlfriend', so why did I get dumped?

[kewpiedoll]

I just want to ask all the guys out there in this cyber world one main question to try and help me understand my break up.

 

Why do males always have a deep seeded problem that is so bad that it totally stuffs them up and they don't know what it is they just know it is not me and they have to be on their own to figure it out. Even though I am the best girlfriend they have EVER had, in everyway.

And in no way is this a cover for a cheating or lying male, he loves me still but just can't be in a relationship with me anymore because of this 'thing' that he does not know what it is - but it has ruined all his past relationships and has now ruined this one - his best one. He is 27 years old.

 

I guess this message may not make much sense but I want to put it out there anyway because I have nothing else now - except for me. I know that is a lot but I'd love someone to relate to who kind of understands. If anyone who reads this needs more info just let me know.

[mermayd]

Everybody goes through this phase. Male or female. It is completely natural. Dont blame yourself for this, try to understand that some people just need to find their way. Maybe the reason they stop the relationship is so that they do not hurt you in their journey. You have more than yourself, you have friends and family who care, I am sure. In time, you will find your way as well. And these sorts of incidences will become more acceptable to you, more understood. It is not you. It is not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. This sounds like something that is completely out of your hands and even if you knew what it was and wanted to help, you do not have the power to because it is THAT person's issue to deal with. You will find a stable relationship. Take each experience as it comes and try to learn from them whatever lessons are to be learned. There is a bright future ahead so try not to put it in a negative light. Thing WILL get better. I promise.

[SwingFox]

Hi,

 

Very interesting posting. I have read more of these postings before, but actually never looked at it in a bigger picture. I am a male, almost 31 and I have thought of me going through a phase like that in my past. Guess what? BINGOOOO!! I have been going through the same thing. BUT: In that period I wasn't involved with someone (lucky me!).

 

I have been thinking about this and in short I can understand why this is a 'guy' thing, although this is just my point of view. Others can have their opinions. Here goes:

 

Traditionally the guy is the one taking care of 'the family'. At some point they get career minded (they need income to support 'the family') and they also start to think about what they look for in life. Usually women can think on multiple levels, where guys usually think at one thing at the time. Result: they can't focus on both a relation and think of what they really need in life. Before anything else, at some point EVERYONE needs to find out what they really need and expect out of life. I hope my point of view makes sense in this. I think this is how I (have) work(ed). Like I said: I wasn't involved in a relation then, though.

 

Kewpiedoll: did you say you are the perfect g/f? Are you still single... *smiles* ... j/k, although you're always welcome to leave me a pm

 

I hope this helped all. Good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[broken hearted in Az]

Girl I know down to the bone what you are going throw case I am going throw the same thing just 21!! just one a little higher level!! Hang in there ! there's nothing wrong with you it's him! Just like it's him with me! C what I am talking about at the topic the man I am going to marry is seeing his X that's me! and my story can u help me out maybe !! Hang in there and good luck in whatever happens 2 u in your life you'll find the right person! broken hearted in Az

[kewpiedoll]

Hi, I just wanted to post a thank you to the three awesome people that replied to my asking for help.

Mermayd43- your answer just helped clarify what I did really know already and what he did tell me. You just put it even clearer and maturely so I could take deep breaths and read it calmly. I am one of those lucky people that know's my path so it was just hard to deal with the reality that the person I had fallen for and wanted to be apart of my path, didn't know his.

 

Which brings me to thanking immensely the male's point to view from Swing fox. Wow, it really really helps to even just read how you type - because you have that male perspective that no matter how much us females try - when we are close to a male we just can't see how you guys think at all! THANKYOU so much - I forgot that when guys go through serious decisions in their lives they can only deal with one at a time! It is such a simple way, and should be an easy thing to remember but WOW, it's easy to forget and get clouded by what you think they need instead of remembering that only they can find out what they need!

And in reply to your asking me in a joking way about being single, yes I am of course, not interested in jumping in to a relationship again for quite a while but I'd love to correspond with you through emails sharing ideas and thoughts and interests. Just what I need I think.

 

And to Broken Hearted in Az, thanks for your advice girl, you sound like an excellent person that deserves way better than you're getting. I'll read your post and give you some help if I can! Sounds like this guy of yours needs to miss you and remember why you are the hot stuff - and if he won't - kick the boy to the kerb! Then let him catch you looking oh so fine and he won't be allowed to touch you!