should i go for a year?

[nmarchildon]

My boyfriend and i are leaving in a few months to travel together for a year. I have travelled a lot before and he hasn't. He doesn't seem like he needs me, he reads a lot of books and seems to be planning his trip and not our trip. i know that he would be going away even if i was coming with him or not. i also want to travel again but i'm pretty sure that i want to travel simply to be with him instead of taking a year break. i adapt to anything and am easygoing but im affraid of being ditched while we are travelling or that i am leaving for the wrong reasons. i keep on thinking about other things i could do with the money i have saved up. I just wish that i was more needed.

 

we have sort of talked about this, and he said that he would never just leave me and that if we needed to go our separate ways once in a while that doesn't mean that we would not get back together and travel some more. it all depends on our interests when we get there.

 

so i'm feeling a little confused, should i leave with him and take things as the come and adapt and learn from new situations or should i just try to sell my plane ticket

[sisterlynch]

Go, no one else answered here, so I would say to go!! I would love to travel and would jump at the opportunity. Just do it, it seems like he is willing to let you do your own thing! Just tell him what you'd like!!

[sayer7]

I agree: Go!

 

Not many people have this kind of opportunity to do what you're going to do and they wish the rest of their life they had.

 

I've lived abroad most of my life, grew up a global nomad, and I can tell you it's a mind blowing, mind growing, mind expanding experience that I wish everyone could experience. There's nothing like experiencing another culture. When you return you'll be a different person for the rest of your life.

 

No matter how much you want things to stay the same with your bf... it won't, just because you both will be growing immensely over a year of traveling. In the end you may have grown even closer together, or you may have grown farther apart, but hopefully you both will remain friends because that's what's important.

 

When he's telling you that he'll give you your space and let you do your own thing if you want to once you get there-- dont take it as a rejection. Take it as him giving your deserved freedom because you are human being he respects. It's him telling you he wants you to grow on your own as well as with him--the way it ought to be. No body should be dependent on another person to grow intellectually and personally. Everyone should experience things on their own as well as with other people- it's all part of growing into an independent, self-assertive person.

 

I also see that you want to feel more needed. Often the need to be needed is a sign that you are too dependent on others to feel secure in a relationship. You may be scared that you two are not as intimate with each other, that you may lose the relationship. Maybe you fear loss or fear that after spending a year traveling with each other you may grow apart from each other.

 

As long as you are committed friends, respect and care about each other- things will be just fine regardless.

 

If you don't feel secure then that it's an internal insecurity-- not one that can be resolved by someone telling you that they will always be there for you. Look inside and analyze your insecurities and see how those insecurities may be influencing how you view your bf and the status of your relationship.

 

I'm just saying, if you grow apart during your trip-- so be it! He sounds like a great friend to have though-- adventurous, seeking personal growth, and self-attainment. He's offering you the opportunity to grow, with him and without him... don't pass it up. If you can't learn to be alright with who you are and grow as a person yourself, then you will not be ok with your relationships with others and how they will grow and change.

 

Think about it....this could be the ONLY opportunity in your entire lifetime to take a year off and travel and experience.... what a shame it would be to miss out on that!