case of the ex

[christie]

I broke up with my ex about 3 mths ago. She's a really cool person that any guy would love to have. She has to always have things on her terms, however. Now this didn't make her a bad person, i just didn't like it as far as a relationship was concerned. When she called or asked to come through, it was no problem. Let me ask to come over or whenever i called, it seemed like always the wrong time. Because of this, and a few other dislikes, I finally broke up with her. Now that she has no obligations to me and i have no expectations of her, i thought that things would be cool for both of us. She does the majority of the calling now, almost to the point it makes me feel as though we are still together, though now she really doesn't have to come over or be a girlfriend to me. At the same time I have my boyz and i'm not one for having females as plutonic friends. I don't know what this girl wants......i don't want to hurt her either. I hate to feel as though someone is keeping tabs on me, but what else could she be doing?

[bdub]

There really isn't enough information in your post to determine what shes trying to do. Just calling you may be her way of keeping you in her life, so that maybe in the future there might be a chance that you two could get back together. If this is the case, it will hurt her in the long run, unless that is what you want also. Be up front and honest with her. It may hurt, but it will be best for both of you in the long term. Don't be stringing her along.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub

[lil_mamarains13]

Maybe you should tell her how you feel. You don't have to be rude about it, but be honest. You may hurt her, but as I always say "The truth may hurt, but lies hurt a lot worse."

[Gilgamesh]

I think she still loves you, and cant understand the motives for you breaking up with her.

 

frankly I dont understand it too well, seems to me that you just dont have time for a relationship, or just dont want to put in the effort. :

 

Let me ask to come over or whenever i called, it seemed like always the wrong time.

 

She does the majority of the calling now, almost to the point it makes me feel as though we are still together

 

seems your a very independent person and need plenty of space, she on the other hand is likes more closeness.

 

Your actions and desires are very alien, its a difficult concept for her to grasp, in her eyes, why wouldnt you want to be with someone that you love.

 

niether one of you is wrong , your just two different people.

 

explain it to her so she will understand.

[bzborow1]

You mentioned in your post that your ex is used to having things on her terms (aka she's used to getting her own way). My opinion is that when you broke up with her she finally didn't get her way...and now you've become a challenge. I've met these girls before, they love the challenge, and it seems once they get it they run away.

 

As for what to do. Just tell her that the friends thing just isn't working for you...wish her a nice life, etc, "see you around, blah, blah"...nothing wrong with that.

 

Cheers,

 

Bill