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How can i stop myself from getting angry all the time?


tigeress
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A few months ago my husband and I went through a difficult time(this was before we were married). He became friends with this girl (that now i honestly dont care for). He hung out with her alot, and i found out he kissed her. He went on a trip to missoula with her. He lied to me and everything. He hurt me really bad, i seriously felt like i was dying. It seemed like i could feel my heart break in half and then more halves. Then i found out some truth behind why he did that. We made up and everything. I try to forget about her and what happened but i cant seem to. Actually i gotten a little better i dont think of it as often now. When ever i hear her name it really gets me upset. I still want to tell her a thing or two but i dont know if that is right. My husband and i do talk about this and i get my anger out then it comes back. Everytime i mention this thing that went on to him i start crying and i get terrible.

Now it seems sense then i have been getting really upset and angry over the littlest things. Then my anger gets to my husband. I start being mean to him. I feel terrible. I want to get over this anger thing i have. I want to forget the terrible past, but i dont know how. I try hard to forget about it but i need help. Can anyone give me advice on how to not get angry anyomre and forget about my past, and all those terrible feelings?? If so that would really help me and my husband. Thank you!

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he married you for a reason, because he loves you. if he loved that other girl, he would have married her. its hard to trust somebody after they hurt you like that, but you choose to forgive him for it. since you choose to forgive him for it, you shouldn't continue to bring it up & get upset about it. thats not going to help anything & its not fair to him. the only thing i can really think of to help you is maybe marriage counseling, to help you get over this & be able to trust your husband & get over what happened in the past.

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Or perhaps try anger management? When we have been hurt by someone we love, our world is ripped apart. When the initial upset/pain wears off, we are left with the anger. It seems you are misdirecting your anger. You are losing it over the smallest things, and taking it out on your husband, because you are still angry at him, then the thought of the other woman comes to mind....it's a vicious circle. I think anger management would be good for you, even more so if coupled with marriage guidance for the both of you. You will learn how to separate things of the past and 'the now', and channel your negative energy in a positive way. I'm sure your husband feels so guilty, and hurt, but because he made a mistake, he accepts things as they are now. He loves you, as you love him, and to help build up the trust, you need to know how the other is feeling.

This must be so difficult for you both, and my heart truly goes out to you. You CAN get rid of your anger, and you CAN make things work out, but it's going to take time, love and maybe some professional help. I really wish you luck with this.

Love Kitty x

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wow... i know exactly what you are talking about. my fiance and i had the same problem... but we ended up breaking up because he felt that he could not talk to me when i asked him what was going on and thereforeeee, i am actually happier that I didn't marry the guy. now, previous reply-ers are right... he married YOU for a reason. at least you and your husband can communicate... that's the most important asset in a relationship.

 

but as far as controlling your anger and not getting mad at every single little thing... i don't think that there is anything that anyone can tell you that can really make you do things different. it has to be YOU that wants to change and YOU have to make the effort to do so. first of all, stop stressing! take a moment to yourself.. take a walk and just let your mind walk freely with you. find some hobbies that really spark your interest and continue with those daily, weekly, etc. the more you stress, the easier it will be for you to jump to conclusions or become angry in a moment.

 

i wish you the best of luck!

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  • 5 years later...

i dont understand im married now and im just lost because im so short tempered to my husband and i dont know what to say but get mad at him.. sometimes i just disrespect his brothers and get so overreacted... i dont feel happy at all... i jsut want to restart. i dont really want to say sorry, but i know i should. but then they'll just say oh yea im saying it but i dont mean it. i want a restart on what i did then....

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  • 4 weeks later...

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