Help!! Why Can't I Trust Men??

[StayingSingle]

I'm 25 and have been single for a little over 3 years. I haven't really dated since. I have been cheated on by all my boyfriends in the past. It seems these past experiences are sabotaging my future relationships. I have been known to be overprotective, worrisome, and paranoid that my bf at the time is cheating on me. I would get into arguments where I would accuse my bf of cheating even if I really didn't know. I would search his car, pockets, cellphone and house for clues of him cheating. After repeatedly giving men in the past the benefit of the doubt, I was only let down to find that they cheated. Now when I meet someone and we start talking, I end up leaving before the relationship takes its first initial steps. I will not express my feelings in fear that I will only be setting myself up to be hurt again. Now I look at all men as cheaters even if I don't even know them. Help!

[goofy]

that's why you can't trust men... cause men have been cheating in your life... you just answer that on your own...

 

it's all good though... there are guys out there that are hosestly faithful to they're spouses.... vice.... just move on girl.. and you man will come in your life... aight...

[StayingSingle]

Thanks Goofy! lol I guess I did foolishly answer my own Q. I should of had the subject read "How Can I Trust Men Again?"

[goofy]

yo girl... don't let it bring u down ... you'll just have to let it grow on you first... after a while if you do meet this man of yours then slowy but surely you would trust him for what he is... i ain't gay... just cause i know alot of s h i t... i took pyschology for one of my classes... so i have a beginnging note on the subject... haha

[Cid]

There is nice guys out there you just have to find them.... I know I am one of thouse nice guys out there. Try not to bring your self down.

[surfdog]

Take a look at yourself...Are you insecure in the first place? This may lead them to cheat...if you are constantly worried and questioning them about things. You could be attracting the wrong type of person too...check yourself out you may be surprised at what you find, not to say those guys were justified (not at all). Sometimes things in life can be a "self fulfilled prophecy" meaning if you can its going to happen then it probably will because you made it happen. It happened to me an I drove my gf away from me...Maybe it is a bad luck streak for you. If your self esteem is low you may attract men you are looking for someone to control (because they are insecure too) and then as a result they end up cheating on you because they may not respect you because of low self esteem on their part and yours...hope this helps.

[StayingSingle]

Good Morning Everyone!

 

Thanks Goofy, Cid, & Surfdog for replying! I agree with many of the things that you guys have said. Surfdog, you have mentioned a few things that may be true. Wrong type of guys in the past low self esteem were some contributing factors. Now I have zero tolerance for any kind of BS. More confident and knowing what I want now, it seems hard to find the good ones! haha. Especially with those ugly memories of me getting cheated on in the past creeping up in my head. I hope I didn't push away any good ones in the past 3 years. Slowly but surely, chin up, deep breath, & smile! Thanks !!