alexia denise Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 well, i am in a rather messy situation .......... i seem to have many men after me because i am too nice and i cant brake up with either of them they just wont leave!! they dont get it i wanna be alone. Its like 8 of them iam so confused they all showed up in different times wanted different thing and i am torn between my feelings for each: Nick : met through my best friend realli nice too serious Dan: religious very sceintific cool realli nice but too serious hes twice my age but loves me dearly..but he doesn't loosen up Nit: nice friends since ever realli likes me but he seems to be so distant in that i bareley know him ' Kenneth: cool computer guy who just rellli want to be with me has awful breath always wants to kiss me i reallli have nothing in common with him just wont leave me alone' the list continues any advice \\ sean the one i realli like hes a cheater never has time for me all tho he claims to love me but i feel he uses me for publicity nokio: he and i have no real future he lives in europe i live in canada he s too far an but realli sweet plus internet isn't place for meeting men Link to comment
Entropy Smith Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 Wow, we even get a scouting report. Its your fault Alexia although maybe not on purpose. You teach people how to treat you. If you give any guy a glimmer of hope that he's got a shot going downtown he's going to cling like a flea... Link to comment
musicguy Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 don't talk to any of them at all anymore Link to comment
alexia denise Posted December 2, 2007 Author Share Posted December 2, 2007 don't talk to any of them at all anymore i have tried believe me they just dont get it they wont go i have even told them they arent the only one and they have said they still want the chance to blow me away and believe me i am blown away Link to comment
alexia denise Posted December 2, 2007 Author Share Posted December 2, 2007 Wow, we even get a scouting report. Its your fault Alexia although maybe not on purpose. You teach people how to treat you. If you give any guy a glimmer of hope that he's got a shot going downtown he's going to cling like a flea... i know i just wanna fix things each day the list seems to grow an d i want it to stop cause i am so confused i just want an ordinary guy who can be my friend i can have fun with not guys whom are battling to be with me becuz they think i am realli funny and spontaneous Link to comment
Lucy_lou Posted December 2, 2007 Share Posted December 2, 2007 I dont' know if this advice is applicable, but my first response to your situation would be to be both honest and firm with them. I know some people say that you shouldn't give anything positive in case it encourages them more, but I think when it comes to people's hearts, when they give them to you, you have an opportunity to decide whether or not to leave them in better or worse condition than before they met you. I think it's nice that you are not complacent, and that you have let them all have emotional effect on you. It shows that you probably have a big and open heart. If I was one of these guys and I had no chance, I would be best off if you'd tell me that you were flattered (assuming you were, and why wouldn't you be), and if you have any feelings toward them, tell them, tell them what you like about them, and allow the connection to happen, but also be firm and tell them that you don't want to get involved with them, and that you wish for them to not pursue it. If they push further, after you've been direct with them, then you have every right to start ignoring them, because they've disrespected your wishes. If they respect you as much as you deserve, they'll let you be, and be touched that you had any feelings toward them regardless. It will boost their confidence and put them in better shape for the next person. The moral of this story. It's your life, and you have the right to whatever kind of relationships you want, and you don't have to be involved with anyone you don't want to be involved with. You write the rules. But don't take their love for granted. Let it move you. Have gratitude, and let them know. If they see beauty in you, then they can't be all bad. Honour them with thanks before you push them away. Alternatively, you could take up a more active role in defining the relationship. See if you can teach them not to be so heavy. Link to comment
alexia denise Posted December 3, 2007 Author Share Posted December 3, 2007 wow!!!!!!!!!!! u are such an inspiration ... but it easier said than done....... i have tried to be firm but i love people so much i dont wanna hurt them altho i have told them i am not interested ( more like i am in a bit of mess with my emotions)............. they never seem to get i have even said i have a bf multiple and they still insist so i guess i just play along they wan me to so .. but now i have grown to realli be confused since they are also different and my love for each differs............... i wish i found one guy with all of their qualities Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 you don't want to hurt other people? but it is affecting the way you want to live. you can't discard your feelings for others. Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 Its funny that that list all the guys are really nice and have good qualities but you like the guy who is known to be a cheater and has no time for you. You women drive me nuts. Link to comment
alexia denise Posted December 7, 2007 Author Share Posted December 7, 2007 see he is nice and has good qualities but hes a music producer and that industry kinda has a a title of cheater that goes along with it...nit he is a caring and understanding person who is real with me Link to comment
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