what the hell do i do? please help!

[thatboy_e]

my girlfriend of 2 and a half years told me that she wanted to stop trying and now i am devasted. however she said she would try one last time because i persuaded her to (i think). we are still together but she is totally different and i am so hurt. she moved out of her house and in with some girlfriends and now she is obsessed with going out to clubs and partying with them, without me. when she goes out she never calls. i am the one to always call, to see what shes doing. its like she doesn't care about seeing me or what i am doing. whenever i ask her if she still wants to try and i want to talk about us she gets pissed and hangs up. i feel like her friends come first and i am a distant second. i always tell myself not to call her, but i am too weak when it comes to her. i don't know how to handle this situation. any advice would be very helpful.

[enadevoli]

it seems like shes not into you anymore. she's not putting any effort into your relationship with her, you are doing all the work. im sorry to say this, but she doesn't seem interested in trying to work things out with you. i think you need to give up, as much as it hurts. i know that its harder said than done, but you just need to try not thinking about her & not calling her. talking to her will only make it harder for you right now.

[The Morrigan]

It sounds like you need to listen to what you're telling yourself - hey, if what you're trying isn't working, why keep trying it? As long as she knows you'll weaken and call her, she has no reason to go out of her way to get in touch with you, and she can't see what she's missing that's good if the impression she gets is all you want to talk about is what's wrong and how can it be fixed. Persisting with something that's obviously not bringing her closer isn't going to help here; and right now, face it, she doesn't have to try to find out what you're doing, she knows, because you're calling her to see how she is and what she's doing. Requires no effort on her part, so there's no incentive there. For her to want to try, to miss you, to wonder what you're doing and wonder if she'd rather be doing it with you, you've got to be a bit less available. Get out of the house yourself, make yourself seem to be getting along, having fun yourself, don't exactly avoid her, but don't be the one sitting around waiting either. You're going to get more and more miserable, and misery is not going to attract her back to the relationship. You want her sympathy and pity, or you want her to want you and want to be with you? Think about what you'd find attractive in a roomful of girls - is it the one looking grim in the corner, or the vivacious outgoing one who looks like a fun person to be with? And at the least, you'll have a bit of distraction being around people instead of time dragging by, you'll still miss her, but at least you'll be less free to dwell on it, and the change in attitude will show through.