How do you know the difference...PLEASE HELP

[itsabigfatsecret]

OK, there has been a lot of talk on here about how to flirt, when to flirt and things like that but i have a different question. I always seem to be in these situations where i have a few guys flirting with me. The only problem is that some guys are just big flirts and can tease just like women can. SO what i want to know is....how do you tell the difference between serious flirting (like they might really be into you) and the kind that is just more joking around and they want to be friends with you but they dont really want to be with you. How do you know????? Are there diferent ways to flirt that tell the difference????

ALSO:

1. do some guys still do that 4th grade stuff of 'oh i like her so ill be mean to her and pull her piggy-tails'?????

2. If a guy is hugging all over you and talking to you about wanting a girlfriend (but not at the same time) does he want you???

3. Do some guys think it is flirting to say that they are really horny and want sex (but not like they are asking you for it)????

4. Are guys who say they really want a girfriend because they want to have sex the right kind of guy to be with????

5. How do you let the guy know you might want to take the flirting to the 'next level' without saying it???

6. What is the deal with a guy if you met him and he didnt really act like he was into you and then the next time you see him he is hugging all over you and flirting , THEN when you see him again he doesnt really flirt with you at all.

7. If you give a guy your number and he doesnt call but he still talks to you when you see him does he not really like you????

8. If a guy accuses you in a flirty cute way that 'you want him' is he testing you to see if you are into him because HE is into you?????

[The Morrigan]

I want the answers to these as well!!!

 

The only one I can maybe answer is #4 - cause guys can say stuff like this if they want to look "tough" and "cool" especially in front of other guys, or a girl they don't think likes 'em.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

Just my opinion, but the guys that do all those thing you should stay away from, but thats just my opinion. There just in things for the game, and it isn't ever going to be anything serious to them. if you get one, more than half the time thre going to cheat on you. As for your #5... if he isn't jsut playing stupid little games start going after them. If you ask if you could go out on some kind of date most any guy with a brain will get the clue. Just let it be cashual so you don't get slamed.

 

A lot of guys... well atleast me... really admire a woman brave enough to go after what she wants instead of just waithing around for me to come to her.

[real amour]

Nifty Swifty, can you please expand on this last line of yours?

 

***A lot of guys... well atleast me... really admire a woman brave enough to go after what she wants instead of just waithing around for me to come to her.***

 

Thanks.

[itsabigfatsecret]

Just my opinion, but the guys that do all those thing you should stay away from, but thats just my opinion. There just in things for the game, and it isn't ever going to be anything serious to them. if you get one, more than half the time thre going to cheat on you.

 

 

Its not the same guy.......its a combination of about 5 or 6 guys that flirt with me. BUT there is one guy who does a few of them all together. He does 2,3,4,6,7, and 8. I think i focused on him because of all the guys i flirt with and who flirt back with me he is the one im the most curious about .....i think its cause he is the one i know the least.

 

BUT THE MAIN THING I WANT TO KNOW IS HOW DO YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE IN AN INTERESTED FLIRT AND A FLIRTY NICE GUY THAT JUST WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND????

[Nifty_Swifty1]

If a girl is willing to come after me its a BIG + for her. You shouldn't play game and try and get him to ask you. Go out and ask him.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

BUT THE MAIN THING I WANT TO KNOW IS HOW DO YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE IN AN INTERESTED FLIRT AND A FLIRTY NICE GUY THAT JUST WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND????

 

I wasn't say that they have to do them all to be that way, but to anser your question I dont' think you can tell. thats part of the reasion that I said its better to just go and ask the guy. Guess Im not much help am I

[Gilgamesh]

1. do some guys still do that 4th grade stuff of 'oh i like her so ill be mean to her and pull her piggy-tails'?????

 

Maybe if they have a 4th grade mentality, otherwise No.

 

2. If a guy is hugging all over you and talking to you about wanting a girlfriend (but not at the same time) does he want you???

 

What the heck is some guy "Hugging all over you" if he is not you boyfriend? I think that should be established before you start allowing some guy to hug you all over.

 

But the answer is probably yes, If he says he wants a girlfriend and he is slobbering, I mean Hugging all over you, then it usually means he wants you although he doesnt do both things at the same time. but sounds childish.

 

3. Do some guys think it is flirting to say that they are really horny and want sex (but not like they are asking you for it)????

 

Yeah i can see me going up to some girl in the mall and saying "Me soo horney me love you long time" Id be in jail in a few minutes. why are they saying this to you. 1) they are rude imature jerks, 2) They wanna here your response (stupidly hoping to get lucky) and are rude immature jerks.

 

4. Are guys who say they really want a girfriend because they want to have sex the right kind of guy to be with????

 

If you have to ask that question, I worry about you. Lets see, do you want someone that thinks of you as a piece of meat a piece of property to discard when he is tired of you, or do you want some one that actually cares about you and treats you with respect. what they putting in your food?

 

5. How do you let the guy know you might want to take the flirting to the 'next level' without saying it???

 

You tell him, "Buy me a Mini (car)" just kidding. well with these guys all you probably have to do is tell them you like em, they should be at your doorstep so often your mom will proabablly have to squirt them with cold water from a hose to make them go home.

 

7. If you give a guy your number and he doesnt call but he still talks to you when you see him does he not really like you????

 

Well lets put it this way, if he doesnt call, it may or may not mean he is interested in you (inconclusive) but if he does call, he most likely is interested. so guess what, take your chances on the one that calls.

 

8. If a guy accuses you in a flirty cute way that 'you want him' is he testing you to see if you are into him because HE is into you?????

 

Yes, he wants to hear your reaction, he needs feed back, usually a immature thing to do, Men dont do this, at least not in that fashion.

 

Dude- "Hey baby I saw how you were checking me out, you flirting with me, yeah, you must want me"

 

Man- "Hello, I couldnt help but notice your smile,"

 

 

 

[itsabigfatsecret]

GILGAMESH:

 

I am going to comment on your post to my questions.

 

1. ok.....yeah i agree with that.

2. i made that sound bad.....its not like he was touching all over me...we were just in a really long hug....that ended up with him putting me up against the lockers (jokingly) and made some comment about "making out in the hallways".........ok yeah the word slobbering does come to mind.....i agree

3. Well you have to keep in mind most guys are somewhat childish and some just dont know how to flirt well. But i agree that he was looking for what response i might have

4. LOL ok i so did not mean it like he outright says 'i want a girlfriend to screw" but he always says that he wants a GF and makes comments about not getting to use his '7 1/2 inches" but once again i put the two together but he doesnt say them at the same time.

5.LOL...it really does run in my family

7. notes taken

8. OK well what he actually said was one day out of the blue he looked at me and the first thing he said was "you want me" I said "you want ME" back to him and this continued as a 'game' for a few days, but it stopped cause it got us nowhere.

[upstatemedic]

Disclaimer: These are not the only answers to these questions. There are lots of other varations, as many as there are guys who use them. Batteries not included. Your mileage may vary. Thank you, drive on thru...

 

1) Guys who pull 4th-grade stunts are out to have a good time, and they think that the fact that they're having a good time means that you are having a good time. This is usually not the case and, as such, these guys are morons.

 

2) Getting all touchy-feely without knowing you, he's creepy. If he later tells you he wants a girlfriend, you should recommend he go find one somewhere else.

 

3) No, nobody says they're horny and want sex unless they are and they do. Again, you should recommend that they find someone else.

 

4) Contrary to popular opinion, guys that want a girlfriend for sex do not actually want a girlfriend. They want a sex toy, and the best place to get one of those is from your local adult novelty shop. You are most certainly not a sex toy, and if someone makes it clear to you that that's the only reason he wants you, that person needs to be castrated so as not to soil the good intentions of the rest of us guys.

 

5) I'm sure there are lots of ways to do this. But why would you want to? Sure, you could be indirect and all mysterious and ambiguous, but you could also say "Hey, I dig you - lets get together some time". And then there's no guessing, no wondering what you mean, no poor judgement calls. Unless there's alcohol involved. Then it's a whole different ballgame.

 

6) I think you skipped 6

 

7) Sounds like the moment you leave his sight, you also leave his thoughts. Not exactly the most flattering position. Don't bother...

 

8 ) It's a fairly cowardly way to test the waters. If he's too unoriginal to come up with something nice to say about you or something interesting to say, he'll default to something dumb like this. You can always couter with "no, actually I don't." or you can put him to the test with something like "no, but it looks like up until a second ago you wanted me..." as you pour your drink down the front of his shirt...

 

It sounds like you meet a lot of these guys at parties. Could I suggest you try a slightly different background to your chance encounters with guys? Check out your local coffee shops, or [shudder] the library. There are actually a lot of really good-looking people who end up at the library... And you're guaranteed to get something more original than "you want me!"

[itsabigfatsecret]

It sounds like you meet a lot of these guys at parties. Could I suggest you try a slightly different background to your chance encounters with guys? Check out your local coffee shops, or [shudder] the library. There are actually a lot of really good-looking people who end up at the library... And you're guaranteed to get something more original than "you want me!"

 

Actually i dont go to parties so i did not meet any of these guys at a party. Most of them are actually pretty respectful guys, they are just a little different in the way they flirt. And like i said there is one specifically that did/says most of those things. And it was a pretty innocent hug at first and very gentlemanly...until he put me up against the locker. But I actually did enjoy this (blush) but im not a slut that hangs off of every guy and lets them be all over me. I actually never felt a whole lot of attraction to him until he had me up against the locker. It felt comfortal, natural, and right in some way. I dunno....im asking all these questions because i dont just dive right into a relationship without a lot of thinking and majorly OVERTHINKING things. I question what kind of guy they are when im not around, sometimes i even ask them what they like about me and why they would want to be with me. I want to know what they see in me so i know what im getting into.