ghost69 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 how do you get a great vibe and talk to him less than you wanted to? Link to comment
boo121 Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Lucy, i think you need to stop the (What ifs) and over analysing, and just ask him out. If you 2 like each other... great, if you dont, problem solved either way. Dont practice the amazing ability of mind reading on people. There is no way you can know what he is thinking, just from a smile. You might be very perceptive, but i think an insecurity has come up for you and you are acting based on that. Don't put thoughts into his head, you cant mind read, get over it and talk to him Link to comment
Lucy_lou Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 If the sexual tenstion is created too early on (especially in a semi professional environment), then it makes it difficult to talk in a friendly non flirty way. the vibe is there and you're both aware of it. It's just been brought in way too early. I want to talk to him in a totally non flirty way first. I very much want to. But I will not flirt with a work colleague who I hardley know. When the vibe is there, it doesn't matter what you say, how mundane and unflirty your words are, it ammounts to flirting when both people are totally aware of it. It's really difficult to ignore. I've had this problem twice this month. Guys I want to talk to and get to know put out the vibe too quickly, before a comfortable rapor has been established. I really believe in being friends first. so If I can't be friends, it's a lost cause. Link to comment
Lucy_lou Posted November 21, 2007 Share Posted November 21, 2007 Lucy, i think you need to stop the (What ifs) and over analysing, and just ask him out. I'm Australian, we don't really do things that way. We don't have that kind of dating culture of asking out someone you barely know. Some might, but for me it's culturally inappropriate. I like to be friends first. which is why I'm so disapointed that he put out the vibe without hardley even talking to me first. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 What is this vibe you speak of? I'm curious to know what you consider flirting. Link to comment
boo121 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I'm Australian, we don't really do things that way. We don't have that kind of dating culture of asking out someone you barely know. Some might, but for me it's culturally inappropriate. I like to be friends first. which is why I'm so disapointed that he put out the vibe without hardley even talking to me first. Well, if you were'nt interested in him, you wouldnt be contemplating and talking about him on this forum. Which is why u need to talk to him in a friendly way, to find out what hes like. In my opinion, there is no vibe going on between you. If you like to be friends first, go over and talk to him, and find out what hes like. You cant be friends by smiling at each other accross the way all the time. Link to comment
Lucy_lou Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Well, if you were'nt interested in him, you wouldnt be contemplating and talking about him on this forum. Which is why u need to talk to him in a friendly way, to find out what hes like. In my opinion, there is no vibe going on between you. If you like to be friends first, go over and talk to him, and find out what hes like. You cant be friends by smiling at each other accross the way all the time. Thanks for all the replys to my situation, but I feel like nobody has actually read them properly. Boo, my whole point, is that in the beginning I was talking to him any chance I got, because I wanted to know him more. It was fine up until he started being friendly back and I couldn't hack it so I stopped. There IS no smiley bs going on. That's my whole point. He'd be doing the smiely bs, saying hello and nothing else. I didn't want that. I want talk or nothing. which is why I've gone all unfriendly on him. I am an idiot witht these things, I admit it. And I could be wrong about the vibe. I actually heard the other day which made me reconsider my assumptions. He said something to one of the other people at my work suggesting he thinks I'm intimidated by him (which is true now). And I then found out that he has a higher position in the company than I realised. So maybe his shouting hello at me accross the way and paying extra attention (I don't know how to expain why it was different to any one else's attention, but trust me), is his way of doing his job and trying to know all the staff better. I thought he was just another nobody, so I didn't know why he was paying any more attention to me than the others do. As for your opinion Boo that there is no vibe, well I don't know how to articulate it in words. But a lot of things in this life go on instinct, and this is one of them, so you're just going to trust me here. I'm a phenomenal expert at creating uncomfortable tension with people. and this is just another sorry example I'm sad to say. Maybe I need to start a thread of my own, since I seem to have hijacked this one for my own issues. (sorry, and thank you all). But the main thing I'm trying to explore here is the issue that I am fine talking to some guy and being friendly and starting up banter, getting to know them at first. but as soon as they start being friendly in that useless smiling, saying hello but nothing else, that's when I get all shy and uncomfortable and seriously recoil. It happened not long ago with another guy. It was all good until he started smiling and saying hello whenever he saw me, cause they always expect me to start up the conversation after that, and I don't always have something to say to them. So it's useless. and creates a kind of uneasiness in me. How should I get over this? Link to comment
princess_summer_blue84 Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 OMG! If that is the case then u mean to tell me that my boss ( a guy) likes me then! OMG! He's only 17 I'm 22 will be 23 on the 25th of this month! EWWWWWWWW! Well what if the guy is always walking by u or is near u ? Ok, well see I work as a cashier and well my boss ( the cute one) when I make a mistake if he is near I will call for him to help me and well um I notice that he gets a little close ( b/c I'm wearing this really sexy parfume) does that mean that he is liking me or what? He even smiles or laughs at what I say . I had a nick name for him and well I told him that I wouldn't call him " country boy" anymore. He was like " WHY"? Does that mean that he actully like being called that and likes it when I call him that or what? Link to comment
phoenix91 Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 what signs do they give off when theyre interested in you, what do u ladies usually do....just curious Well, the answer is quite simple, just watch her carefully and you'll feel it in your heart whether she likes you or not... Good Luck... Link to comment
hk87 Posted November 25, 2007 Share Posted November 25, 2007 The only way you really know if a girl is interested in you is to ask her out, and if she says yes, then you'll know for sure. Up until then it's all pure guesswork. Girls all give off different signals. I for one am really smiley, happy and touchy with everyone I know, girls or guys, and no- one gets particular attention. If anything I kind of back off from the guy I like!! Hk87 Link to comment
poloplayer Posted November 25, 2007 Share Posted November 25, 2007 When a girl stares into your eyes she wants you to kiss her then and there. When you catch a girl glancing at you, she wants you to look back and smile When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you she wants you to hold her hand When she wants a hug she will just stand there When u break a girls heart she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not at all fine When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are playing games!! When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever When a girl says she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future When a girl says, "I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that When a girl is mean to you after a break-up she wants you back, but shes scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 they flirt, they initiate conversation, they laugh at your stupid jokes, etc. this all depends on the girl too. there are shy ones. Link to comment
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