friend blanks me for nothing

[dino-prime]

hi folks, my female friend is giving me all sorts of greif at the moment and i dont know why?

 

last nite i met up with her at her place of work and took her some dinner round.

 

as i was leaving she asked to see my mobile phone, i consider things on that mobile as private to me so i said no im sorry you cant.

 

she says that that said alot about me.

 

i went home

 

she was online so i im'd her, saying that the stuff on there was private and that i was sorry that i couldnt show her.

 

she just said whatever and then goes that she wont ask again and wont trust me again either.

 

im like wtf?? what did i do??

 

i asked about our friendship and she says that what is a friendship without trust - meaningless and then logged off.

 

im flabbergasted its 2.5 months since my breakup to my ex and now she's pulling this on me.

 

i am very confused and think she's playing mind games

 

earlier in the week she said that there wasnt anything between us, but last nite she says that i dont listen and dont take in whats going on around me??

 

please help me get straight

 

deano

[MollyElise]

Sounds like she's one of the many people who is "Falling in love with a friend" you see people who are in her shoes everyday on enotalone. Now what do YOU think of her?

[dino-prime]

i do like her alot but things have happened over the last few weeks were she has taken things out of context and thrown them in my face and made me feel belittled. makes out that she's the hurt party when i didnt think that i had done anything.

 

i dont know what to think of her and we havent spoken since last nite, we are meant to meet for a gym induction thing tonite but i dont know if she will show plus how do i act if she does??

 

i guess im just gonna be friendly but keep my distance.

 

uuurgh why all this when she could just tell me if she feels like that.

 

thanks for oyur thoughts

[The Morrigan]

I think I'd have to tell her trust is also allowing your friends or partner their privacy and trusting they're not hiding anything. Nobody should have to feel they have no personal space to have another trust them, that's basically saying THEY don't trust YOU if they can't see everything you're doing, and that is NOT trust.

 

Don't let it get turned around to where you're the guilty party either - nobody has the inherent right to read your emails, your convos, check your phone records, or check on where you've been in order to "trust" you, if they really trust you it would never be an issue in the first place.

 

Side note - I think you're right in maintaining a friendly distance if this is the way she's acting as a friend; as more it would be likely to escalate I think, not a nice situation to get into.

[dfcannon]

Yep, I recently befriended a girl and things looked promising for "more than friends," but she started to pull this kind of stuff on me, correcting things I said and insinuating that I did not "listen" to her previously. It became a kind of semantics battle and I dared not open my mouth for fear of getting corrected. So, I never asked her out. It was great to get to know her as friends and then not walk through that "more than friends" door when I realized what she was like. If I were you, I'd keep my distance and only take her back if she comes to you in a very genuine way...I certainly would not chase her now.

[idunno]

sounds like shes pissed you havent stepped up to the plate. you should tell her if you plan to do so or not