I'm new with long distance relationships, and I'm struggling

[Pysal131]

I've been dating for a few years, this is my third "serious" girlfriend, and i love her to death. Unfortunately, she went off to college a few months ago. We were close, but not really close then. Since she left in august, she's come home twice, and i've gone up to visit her once, and ill be going again soon. Every time she comes down, we get closer and closer. I'm at the point where i really do love her, and life without her seems .. unbearable almost. I'm having a difficult time coping with her absense. I need advice on how to make this last, because i really do want it to. We already talk to each other every night, for a decent amount of time. I need to know if theres anything i can do make this easier on both of us, or if we're doing as much as we can. Any help is appreciated, thanks. I'm to the point where giving up is becoming an option, and I dont want to take it.

 

 

Haha sorry i put this under the oral sex for women post, I'm new at this and i just hit "new topic" at the bottom after reading one of the articles.

[Gilgamesh]

Hello

 

I would have never imagined putting a post on the subject of long distant romance under the "oral sex for women" category. I have to assume this is in the wrong spot.

 

Anyway, I think your doing ok, with the talking on the phone, also you may wanna try, sending stuff through snail mail also (post) pictures, and poems etc. hand written, make it personal.

 

Never ever give the immpression to her that you are frustrated by the distance, do you really want her feeling something is wrong? If you act like there is something wrong and that you are unhappy by the distance thing, ythen she will start having doubts about it also.

 

Be positive, make her happy, And see her at any time its possible, if she is in town, or you have time off, make those plans together.

[crookster_man]

-Absense makes the heart grow fonder

 

Well that's a line of BS if I ever heard one. Love and commitment require work. It doesn't just happen; you understand that, that's good. What are you missing? Can she fulfil the gap? You have to understand that you share only a short time together, you will have to figure out something (a routine) that works for you both or it will be doomed to fail. It's hard, very hard to have a successful long distance relationship. In this day in age it is becoming very common.

 

I myself have never gotten into one, I dread dealing with it. I wish you the best of luck. I you figure out what is missing and see if she can fill it. If not, I would start looking elsewhere. Or let go of what you "think" is missing.

[Liria]

Long distance relationships take ALOT of work.

 

Break out the bucks - get a great long distance phone plan. Most important is to take the TIME to keep you both "included" in each other's lives.

 

I've had many LD relationships - flights, calls, etc. - on one hand, the anticipation and meeting (at last) were great - then the sadness of saying bye again and again.

 

If you both have long term PLANS I find LD relationships easier. When it is long distance dating - it gets kind of difficult. People change with their environments - new people, friends, interests - in time people can grow apart.

 

Since she's away at school, she's free on breaks, all summer, a whole month during holidays - it can't be so bad.

 

You are lonely - she has gone, and your companion isn't readily available. Keep light, positive, and don't be upset or depressive on phone - it'll make her want to avoid your calls, not gladfully await them.

 

All things take time. Give it attention, and see what happens. If you have a solid foundation for a relationship, you'll both weather this fine.

 

Good luck!

 

(oral sex forum? - ok....)

[The Morrigan]

Make sure you have plenty to stay occupied between talking to her so you're not counting the minutes - believe me, there is NOTHING that can make time move slower than watching the clock! You don't want to have no life between those calls except obligations and have everything revolve around them, you'll make yourself depressed and miserable, which isnt gonna help your relationship. If you don't have a hobby or interest that appeals to spend the time alone or with friends, maybe come up with something to work on specifically for before you see her, make her something, exercise and work out towards a goal, look around for things that you guys can do when she is there, but keep your mind and self actively involved in something positive.

[Pysal131]

Thanks a lot. Earlier this week i was having trouble with it, because she had just left again. I'll keep everything you guys said in mind, and again, thank you. It's neat that people online are willing to help you out when you need it. and for no cost! Thanks

[NoClue]

I agree with u Liria definitely have PLANS. These things are so hard. I am in the middle of my first, and what I know deep down will be my last LD relationship. They take work and comitment on both sides of the relationship. But I agree you do need to do things to occupy the time you cant talk especially if there is a time difference for both of you. The one thing to hang on though even though it means maybe thinking it may not be the relationship for you, is that if it is meant to be and is right both of you will fight for it and work for it as much as possible. Good luck to both of you. In this day and age there are more and more people in these relationships and we need all the support and encouragement we can get.