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wits end.......how do i trust? sorry if its old subject :o(


klw777
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.............can anyone help?

 

I have tried so hard to trust my bloke and its just so hard

 

to cut it short i was cheated on in a big way by my two past relatipships and I cant seem to get past the fact that that was then and this is now.

 

I have been with my current bloke for nearly 2 years, he hasnt given me cause to think he has been cheating on me but i just cant trust him its wrecking our relationship but even though I know it is then i cant trust.

 

I cant stand seeing him looking at other women, he tells me its not in the way I am thinking but when he does it then my blood boils and I feel so hurt and angry, I see him looking and think that he is admiring them i have talked to him about it and he tries not to look but he says he ends up feeling like he cant look any where at all which seems unfair.

 

He is going out tonight, just to the pub on his own to watch the football, but i have given him grief about it and i am so worried he will get chatted up or summat. I want to let him go and just enjoy himself but i just dont know how

 

people say its natural to look but i just cant accept that.

 

please help

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You know what im one who knows that it's easy to become over protective, but if you cant trust him, WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP BASED ON???????? Cos. Relationships are meant to be based on trust, and you don't have that, well then your not in a relationship, I can understand that you feel as though what she got that I don't, million things come in to your mind, but you have to realize he had a life of his own before you, and why not do the same, and go out and have some fun,

 

Are you telling me that you don't have a look at guys cos that not true, if you see a good looking guy you will look even thought you don't realize your doing it.

 

So I would say relax, and give him his space. To realize what he has got. Let him miss you, and naturally all he will see is you, and be in more contact. Iv done it may self and it has worked in the past.

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I know it's hard, but... he's not either of your exes. Part of the trouble (though far from all) in my marriage, and part of what drove the current separation, was him looking behind my back constantly for something that simply didn't exist. From my side, it was frustrating and infuriating, because years of spying turned up nothing, well, of course, because there WAS nothing lol! but there was no way to "prove" innocence, it had to come from him believing it, and he didn't.

 

Looking is normal as pertaining to an admiring glance, what isn't is speculating and not having the respect and self control to put the relationship above the momentary thrill of doing something illicit. Or, of having the courtesy to tell your partner you're ready to move on before getting involved with someone else. If you think about your exes, there's probably other things they did besides cheating on YOU that showed signs of that lack of respect, and of thrill seeking, whether towards friends, work, or in day to day actions.

 

If telling yourself no matter who he's run into, or seen, or even had try to chat him up, he's put you, what he feels for you, and your relationship first, isn't helping, you might want to see a counselor to help you work through it. It's not something you want to carry around making both you and your partner miserable, so don't be afraid to ask for a bit of help if you need it. If you think it might help, even ask him to go with you as a couple, or even as support, the more he's involved in it, the more he can help you with it.

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