A problem indeed

[ShadeOfGreen]

So heres my problem.

 

When I go out and I drink or whatever, I tend to be a very charming guy (and I am told as such by friends and people I meet) and can easily get along with just about every person I meet. The problem is, that I am only this charismatic charming guy when I've been drinking. If I have had four or five drinks I have no problems meeting a girl getting her number or hooking up or whatever. I seem to have great ability with all types of people after drinking, and this isn't something that only I notice either. I didn't even realize it till my friend said to me that I should be drunk all the time cause then we'd all have a lot more fun cause then I can always find us somewhere to go.

 

So when I wake up I am a total idiot. I lack confidence and am just totally shy with people when I am sober. I don't know what it is because once I get to know people I am very well liked but its just the getting to that stage of knowing someone one enough that they can like me, ya know?

 

And with girls/woman its terrible. In the last month I have gotten with ease the numbers of like six girls but I havn't called any of them because of my lack of confidence.

 

If anyone can offer advice on how to bring this whole thing over to being sober and all then help me out.

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey Shadeofgreen. It's happy here

 

I'm sorry to say I've never experienced your problem before. I think it might be a mental thing like you could feel less confident when you don't drink like it's how you tell yourself you need 2 b drunk when really you always could be like that...it's hard 2 explain but u kno what i mean?

 

Another possibility I see is that when you drink, you drink your fears and sorrows away. And In a way, you could be afriad of actually meeting someone, afraid of loosing them before you actually give it a go.

 

I'm still unsure of why you do it either...

Hope that shed some light.

 

Happy Heb

[The Morrigan]

Alcohol tends to break down some of your normal inhibitions, probably gives you a buffer from your usual shyness. That's both a good thing, that you know you can be outgoing, and a bad thing, in that you don't want to get into the habit of using it as a crutch to avoid dealing with getting past it in normal situations.

 

Start out slow, maybe read some of the past posts in the shyness and getting past it forum, see if you get any ideas of little things you'd normally shy away from that are smaller steps than diving right on in, and then see about calling some of those numbers you seem so good at getting, even if it's just "hey, wanted to see if you were going to be back at (insert bar name here) again anytime soon, it was nice meeting you last time!" Remember you don't HAVE to ask for a date right away to express interest in someone or start up communications, don't pressure yourself!