She's avoided me for months - now we have to be on vacation

[Beachlover]

My girlfriend of 6 years decided to end our realtionship almost 7 months ago.

 

There are more rumors to the demise (she couldn't/wouldn't tell me) from mutual friends.

 

It was also a long-distance relationship that worked.

 

She told me not to call her on the phone (and I DID - typical). We did exchange some e-mails for a few weeks. She had almost demanded that we remain "friends" and should wait a while to talk. She promised to keep the dialog going via e-mail but soon after - no more e-mail.

 

I sent her a birthday present after 3 months -no acknowledgment.

 

The I was accused of harassing her on the internet (I didn't).

 

I've tried to call her only twice in the last few months but every time she hears my voice - she hangs up.

 

Traditionally, we go on vaction in November together. She asked me early after the break-up if I would "not" go during the week we had planned. I didn't respond but thought about it. Why be miserable. So - I booked for the following week to avoid her (out of respect). I came to find out that she extended her stay at the hotel by several days. YIKES !

 

Well, I sent an e-mail asking for her to get "right" between us prior to the trip. Again, no reply.

 

We're at the same hotel (small) and we'll be around mutual friends.

 

This isn't gonna be fun. I can't understand how someone so close can just hang-up rudely on a good friend of 6 years and totally avoid what is definitely going to happen - we'll have to actually see each other.

 

Help - thoughts ???

[wolfy1818]

A different hotel maybe? That's just a short term fix though so hopefully you can enjoy your vacation.

[Beachlover]

Nahhh.. that's not gonna happen.

 

We enjoy the same folks at this place - all of us know each other.

 

What troubles me is my fear that she's gonna taint folks to what she perceives is gonna be "trouble between us" when I arrive. She'll be there a week before I arrive and I'll be nervous enough.

 

I still love her......

[wolfy1818]

Well, you aren't together anymore right? Then it really shouldn't matter what she thinks anymore. Actually if you two aren't together and after 7 months she stills finds it necessary to talk badly about you to your mutual friends at some place she knows you like, then a.) that's bull sh*t b.) she hasn't gotten over you c.) you should just shine it on and realize how sad that is.

 

I don't know, think about what you CAN do about it, and if there is nothing you can do, then just shine it on and not worry about it. No use worrying about something you can't do anything about right? Good luck.

[Beachlover]

Thanks Wolfy....

 

I go with "she's not over you yet". She's a strong-willed gal who'd rather suffer-in-silence than admit second thoughts.

 

Perhaps it's a test to see if time indeed - heals all wounds.

 

She DID date a fellow for a short while - but he allegedly broke it off because he was still in love with his girlfriend...all after telling me " i have no desire to be in ANY relationship...perhaps I was just not meant to be in one ever in life ..." - and at age 43 and never married.

 

We were together 6 years. The longest thing she ever had prior to me was less than 2 years.

 

Guess I beat the odds ????? (tongue in cheek)

[sisterlynch]

Could you bring a friend boy or girl to occupy your time on vacation, so it will not appear that you are just looking to see her?

[Beachlover]

Actually, she's taking her female friend with her. At least it's not a guy.

 

I'm going "solo" and I'm sure I'll have fun. My ex can become rather "theatrical". Remember, we both have frinds that will be there at the same time.

 

I'm afraid that after all the avoidance - and she knows I'm coming - that she may try to taint others as to how I might behave upon seeing her (paranoid) or make a grand exit from wherever she is upon seeing me.

 

what's worse is that she could try to come up to me as though nothing has happened and be all smiles and sunshine. NOT a good thing.

 

Thanks for everyones input....