beauty21 Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 But if the other guy answered the phone 5 minutes before they were to meet and she takes the phone and says, yeah I'm right around the corner, wouldn't it make since for the guy to know that she was meeting up with him? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 But if the other guy answered the phone 5 minutes before they were to meet and she takes the phone and says, yeah I'm right around the corner, wouldn't it make since for the guy to know that she was meeting up with him? i'm not trying to speculate who the other guy is. she fricken lied. it's that simple. OVER in my book. sorry. no 2nd date. maybe not even finish that date. don't you think she would think it's awkward to have a guy answer your phone when your date is calling? she's not all there if she thinks it's cool anyways. Link to comment
beauty21 Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Next time pick your date up. Link to comment
cheesystreet Posted October 31, 2007 Author Share Posted October 31, 2007 well we've done stuff before and she never let's me pick her up, always insists on meeting me somewhere. And the weird thing is that she called about 1/2 hr before to see if we could meet closer to his place. She asked HIM what the cross street was, so I guess he did know that we were meeting up Link to comment
cheesystreet Posted October 31, 2007 Author Share Posted October 31, 2007 actually one other time we had sort of a lunch/picnic thing and then went to play tennis. But she had to leave by 5pm because she had dinner plans. I asked if it was with high school friends and she was like "yeah....high school friend (pause) actually it's a college friend but I've known him for like forever". Super shady, should've ended it there Link to comment
beauty21 Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 You are acting like she is your girlfriend. How are you gonna end something, that's never started? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 actually one other time we had sort of a lunch/picnic thing and then went to play tennis. But she had to leave by 5pm because she had dinner plans. I asked if it was with high school friends and she was like "yeah....high school friend (pause) actually it's a college friend but I've known him for like forever". Super shady, should've ended it there whoa. dinner plans with another guy? wth bro. wake up man. this thread and this girl have gone on long enough. why did you leave this out in this post? geez. none of my guy friends go to dinner with a girl as friends. only in a group usually. meet up for a quick lunch, maybe. but not really dinner. i think dinner is more of a personal meal. i wouldn't ditch a date i was having fun with to go to dinner with a friend. Link to comment
cheesystreet Posted October 31, 2007 Author Share Posted October 31, 2007 Yeah I suppose you're right. I mean I just kinda believed her when she was all specific about how she'd known him for so long. One of my guy friends does, and I've actually done dinner and a movie with a girl friend. I think some people are just more relaxed about these things than others (my guy friend tends to fall into the gay friend category pretty often). Nevertheless, I agree that it is pretty darn and suspicious. As for my "should've ended it" quote I meant ended my pursuit instead of keeping on asking her to stuff. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 she should be ended altogether. questions, calls, texts, emails, everything. Link to comment
beauty21 Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 I thought you never told her you have feelings for her. Did you ever say anything to her about you liking her? Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Next time pick your date up. Why are you so intent to find fault with the OP and defend the girl even though she made a blatant LIE about something? I don't care how trivial of a lie it was, it was still a blatant lie on the first date, and that's when everyone is supposed to be on their best behavior. A girl lies to me on the first date and I know it's a straight up lie and yet she looked me directly in the eye and uttered, I don't care if it was about what she ate for breakfast, lying over trivial things when there is nothing to gain by it is a huge Red Flag to your character. Link to comment
cheesystreet Posted November 1, 2007 Author Share Posted November 1, 2007 i think it's too early to be confessing to her, most likely I'd have just gotten the whole "we barely know each other I thought we were just friends" crap. anyways I'm pretty sure she's too busy dating "Jane" to really give a crap Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 no idea why you are still so worried about this girl. what are you so hung up on? her looks? Link to comment
Kiwi_Sweet Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 Maybe she is just really good friends with this guy? Exactly. She probably did indeed "feel bad" about telling him her bf is a male. I think I would be a little "jealous/curious" if the person I had feelings for told me this. I would probably shy away from the relationship.?? But just my thoughts and opinions.. Link to comment
Kiwi_Sweet Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 I am in the camp with the folks who said she shouldn't have lied. First impressions are everything. Why would she do that? She lied. A small lie that didn't really hurt this guy. People are people, we all make mistakes. He shouldn't hate her for making one. It's not like she's some ax murderer, GEESH folks, give her the benefit of the doubt. I thought this place was about warm and welcoming thoughts and opinion, not "BURN the WITCH--WHO LIED"! She KNEW a guy answered the phone. You see, why would she let some guy answer her phone, if she felt that it was going to be a threat to the relationship/friendship? She is not all that bright it would seem to me. Why do you think this way of her? This is a hideous opinion to make of someone that you don't even know. I hope all of your advice doesn't escalate into uncalled for babble. If you want to put people down, then you should do it somewhere else! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 was the girl you? just curious. so you think this girl is okay for our boy here? Link to comment
Kiwi_Sweet Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 well we've done stuff before and she never let's me pick her up, always insists on meeting me somewhere. And the weird thing is that she called about 1/2 hr before to see if we could meet closer to his place. She asked HIM what the cross street was, so I guess he did know that we were meeting up Maybe she is embarrassed of her home??? You know, maybe that guy is her roommate, and she doesn't want to tell you because she doesn't want you to judge a book by it's cover? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 Maybe she is embarrassed of her home??? You know, maybe that guy is her roommate, and she doesn't want to tell you because she doesn't want you to judge a book by it's cover? embarrassed of where they live? come on. a guy roommate? never bothered me. one of my exs lived with 3 guys. i didn't stay over ever night. she wasn't ashamed. i didn't think anything of it. Link to comment
Kiwi_Sweet Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 was the girl you? just curious. so you think this girl is okay for our boy here? Are you going to BURN me? Link to comment
Kiwi_Sweet Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 embarrassed of where they live? come on. a guy roommate? never bothered me. one of my exs lived with 3 guys. i didn't stay over ever night. she wasn't ashamed. i didn't think anything of it. Well, you never know. I mean look how he's acting about some guy picking up her phone. I mean, all hell will break loss if he found out she was living with a GUY!! Don't cha think Link to comment
Kiwi_Sweet Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 Well, you never know. I mean look how he's acting about some guy picking up her phone. I mean, all hell will break loss if he found out she was living with a GUY!! Don't cha think You know, you do have a point there.. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 Well, you never know. I mean look how he's acting about some guy picking up her phone. I mean, all hell will break loss if he found out she was living with a GUY!! Don't cha think You know, you do have a point there.. did you just quote yourself? weird. anyways, i would caution when a guy picked up a phone of a girl i was trying to date. yes, i would be like who was that. if she told me 'that's jane' and then said it was a guy, i'd be like 'interesting.' i'd finish the night and probably not call her again. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 She lied. A small lie that didn't really hurt this guy. People are people, we all make mistakes. He shouldn't hate her for making one. It's not like she's some ax murderer, GEESH folks, give her the benefit of the doubt. I thought this place was about warm and welcoming thoughts and opinion, not "BURN the WITCH--WHO LIED"! Burn her? That's a bit overly dramatic. Look, as I said before, I don't care if she lied about what she ate for breakfast. This is the first date and the first real impression. People on their first dates are (usually) on their best behavior. We call this their "Avatar". Or as Chris Rock called it, your "Representative". The idea is that you go out with someone and you want to impress them. If someone can't even keep one single and pointless lie out of their mouth on the first date... sorry, it's your last date. If your "Representative" is lying already, what's the real you like? Benefit of the doubt? Okay, if she lied about where she lived because she was ashamed of it... understandable. Silly, but okay, whatever. But to lie about this, to say; "What guy? No guy answered the phone!" when it was YOU who called and you know you spoke to a GUY and that guy was not HER, that is just a pointless stupid kind of lie that you generally get from compulsive liars. It's no accident to lie about something like that, and it's a huge insult. "What do you take me for, an idiot? I spoke to the guy!" Granted, I personally wouldn't have even brought it up, the OP was a bit sensitive in even asking about it, but she still made a blatant, pointless, and insulting lie. She was making a fool of him. A guy answered, he spoke to the guy, that guy gave her the phone, and she got on it. 15 minutes later she's going to say, "No guy answered, I answered." If that happened to me I would probably have laughed thinking she was being funny, and if I realized she was serious I would have sat there for a second in shock, "Did she really just say that to me? Is she taking me for some kind of idiot?" and then I would probably tell her that this isn't going to work out and I would leave. There are a lot of crappy relationships and cruddy partners out there, and as a healthy individual you have to watch out for people like that. Why am I going to ignore something so ridiculous as this? "Oh well, one of the first things she said to me was a blatant lie when she knows that I know the truth, which also means it's a huge insult to her respect for me... all within the first minute of the date... oh well, let's just keep going and see what happens..." Huh uh. Sorry. She would have ruined her shot with me. Maybe some people think lying is okay, I don't. I've seen too many relationships go on with people whom are untrustworthy and lack respect for other people. This is a big Red Flag in that area. It's not like she said her favorite color was Green because yours was green. It's not like she said she liked the restaraunt you took her too when she really didn't like it. It's not like she said she had a great time when she really didn't. This girl started off the first minute of the first date with a completely obvious and insulting lie, telling me that I didn't talk to a guy when I called when I just five minutes ago sat there talking to some guy who handed her the phone. I don't need that lack of respect and I don't need a manipulative liar. The truth (if he was just a friend or even if it was another guy she was seeing) would have been perfectly fine and the honesty would have scored points. Lying would cost her the date. If someone wants to excuse lying like that, then go ahead, perhaps those people lie themselves and don't enjoy knowing that there are some people out there whom don't want to date liars. Perhaps they don't like knowing there are some people whom respect themselves enough to not let them get away with stupid little lies. Stupid little lies destroy relationships. I've seen it. Why willing go into a new relationship when someone's first action is to start with a blatant lie? No way, not for me. I'll hold out for the honest girl. Link to comment
Just-a-Girl Posted November 1, 2007 Share Posted November 1, 2007 She sounds VERY shady to me, I wouldn't trust her. I mean, I don't think it's the worst thing she could've done in the whole world, but once she lies once, how do you know what is true and untrue from this point forward? I do not think she's in the same place you are. You may go out with her again because it doesn't sound as though you're ready to walk away yet. Don't punish yourself for it, it's hard to get away from someone once you're hooked. But, be smart and really ask yourself if this is someone you want to be with and if you're willing to deal with other situations like this because it doesn't sound like she's going to change her ways. This sounds like it could be painful and unfun. Link to comment
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