Rejection thread - how to how not to - stories

[Lucy_lou]

I'd like to start a thread about your experiences in rejection: being rejected and rejecting.

 

I've been rejected kindly, and brutally. I think rejection is a refinable art form, and whilst the rejected often feels like the loser, the rejector needs also to be judged. Let's judge them here.

 

Who's rejected you and helped you recover easily, and who's done a poor job?

[Zackinlaw]

I think the BEST kind of rejection is one that's direct and compassionate. Rejection is nothing more than a failure of chemistry, so I favor something like "I'm really sorry, but I just don't think of you that way." It acknowledges the reality, yet expresses a bit of remorse for having had to to reject you.

 

As for bad ones? "You have to be kidding if you think I would be interested in someone like you!!!!"

 

Zack.

[fredv3b]

A few weeks ago I was rejected by someone. He was really nice about it, open, honest, compassionate, etc. The way he did it really emphasised all the qualities that attracted me to him. Tragic irony I suppose.

[someguy88]

A few weeks ago I was rejected by someone. He was really nice about it, open, honest, compassionate, etc. The way he did it really emphasised all the qualities that attracted me to him. Tragic irony I suppose.

 

This is why I adapt my "p-r-i-c-kishness" depending on how emotionally attached to me they are. I mean, if they're really attached to me then I'll be a bigger jerk and intentionally do things that will turn them off. My friends think I'm insane but I really believe it helps the other person move on. It's kind of a "cruel to be kind" thing in my mind.

 

One of my friends is a super guy and a lot of women fall hard for him and even years after they've broken up they still carry a torch for him. I think it's because he's too nice and loving even during the breakup.

[Lucy_lou]

here's some of my ratings for good and bad rejections

 

* GOOD: I told him I had a crush on him and was going crazy, and he gave me a hug.

 

*BAD: he made comments which implied that I was just lonely and should try to find someone.

 

* BAD: I let her know I liked her, and left the ball in her court and she said nothing.

 

* BAD: he told me that he was seeing someone (but he didn't tell me how he felt about ME).

 

* GOOD: he told me that we couldn't see each other, but he still took the time to spend some one on one time with me and get to know me better.

 

* GOOD: telling the person you're flattered. (and actually being flattered too).

[carlogiovanni]

Over the course of this weekend I've experienced both.

 

On Friday I bumped into a old crush from school years ago, and all those feelings came flooding back and turned me into a nervous wreck! He was flirting too, but I'm sure I made it so obvious and blatent I ruined my chances! I also had a bit to drink and did the cardinal sin on texting him as soon as I left. I got no reply and it felt awful. I can't help showing that I like somebody very well. I don't know why I should. Trying to be all aloof... it's hard for me. I'm not too bothered about it though, I try not to let myself get too wound up over guys anymore. I've been single for too long now (technically forever!) it's no big deal if things go wrong. Same as usual.

 

On Saturday, however, I was the one doing the rejecting. I exchanged glances with a blond guy in a gay bar in Soho, and after a certain amount of extremely obvious "come over" looks (he took a while to get it) he came and sat next to me. I got on quite well with him, there was nothing about him that turned me off. But then, he suddenly started talking along the lines of "I always get screwed over by men." and "don't screw me over" and "what sort of relationship are you looking for" and it was all just too much. I was going to bring him along to a house party but had to think of a reason to leave him behind! We exchanged numbers, and I enjoyed my evening. When I came to check my phone the next day, I had received four texts from him. "When will I see you again??!" "Shall I wait for you?" "Want to come over to my house?" etc. Now, I'm not a * * * * *y person, there's nothing wrong with that sort of contact, but it completely killed any romantic interest I may have had in him. I texted him back on Sunday but don't care about seeing him. He's just so unattractive now. Neediness is never a turn on, even though I am essentially rejecting somebody's interest. Why does that turn me and many others off?

 

Anyone else got any stories of rejecting and / or rejection?

[Luv]

This is why I adapt my "p-r-i-c-kishness" depending on how emotionally attached to me they are. I mean, if they're really attached to me then I'll be a bigger jerk and intentionally do things that will turn them off. My friends think I'm insane but I really believe it helps the other person move on. It's kind of a "cruel to be kind" thing in my mind.

 

.

 

 

I was like this in High School. . I guess since i was 15 at the time i thought the other gays (who were older) probably just wanted to 'nail' the virgin freshman. Mainly cause i had assumed they were all loose (which they were). But then i learned about a year later that one of the guys genuinely liked me alot. I probably still would have screwed up regardless, but i felt really terrible about it later. Oh well. I still see this guy when i go on trips to FL/CA and he's always telling his friends that he liked me and i was a * * * * to him. Which is probably along the lines of 'what goes around...'.

 

I still have issues with rejecting someone nicely and being rejected. I need to learn how to be nicer, i must admit.

 

I think my 'nicest' experience were the honest ones who were nice about it or maybe just shyed away from it altogether. The worst were the ones who deemed me 'too ugly to be gay' [even if it's true, put it more nicely to me! lol] and ones who pick apart every part of my personality. Oh well.