i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel

[bobsiesprincess]

im not getting any better and its been almost 2 months now. i miss him more. i love him so much and i dont see this ever changing. i honestly dont think i can ever be happy again cos i know what im missing. i just want him, hes perfect for me, hes the one, nothing else matters without him. i dont know how im ever going to get through this. im so alone.

[bubblyblonde11]

Hey hun

 

Its been 3months approx now for me, I keep yo-yoing - I was ok but that was because I was so angry at him when that disapated somewhat then I started to miss him.

 

I am trying to get angry again for all he did, for all I stuck by him through and then he dumped me. Perhaps try this, get angry BUT THEN use this anger and channel to improve yourself, your life and get through this.

 

You will, although sometimes it doesn't seem like it, you will.

 

It just takes time, but we all want it to be better asap and it just doesn't happen like than and even if it did we wouldn't be healed.

 

Think of your heart is like a broken arm or leg.

 

You need to rest it.

Not put extra pressure on it at this time otherwise will make it weak again.

You need to take care of the rest of you.

You need to let it heal totally before using it again.

You need to grieve for the loss of the use of the limb.

You need time.

 

((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

[bobsiesprincess]

i wish there was somn i could be angry at him for but he hasnt really done anything wrong.

 

my whole future and life has changed, everything i wanted is gone

[bubblyblonde11]

He left you?

 

One thing to be angry about, did he ever speak out of turn to you, leave you hanging on a night out? etc

[Lana0120]

Two months is early days. If you look at some of these posts, a year on, people still feel sad at the break-up. It is just different. Don't feel that you have to have a set time by which you have to recover. Just keep working at it and at living your life.

[tushboy]

Don't rush into healing, take your time...cry as much as you want, do whatever makes you happy, but DON'T and I repeat DON'T contact your Ex, if he's left you or broken up then give him all the space he needs and you take yours.. come here as much as you want, keep telling us how you feel and what you been upto. There will come a day when the sorrow will make way for immense joy. Amen

[Jess...]

Two months is early days. If you look at some of these posts, a year on, people still feel sad at the break-up. It is just different. Don't feel that you have to have a set time by which you have to recover. Just keep working at it and at living your life.

 

Well put.

 

The way I always think of it is - it won't happen over night, but it WILL happen.

 

At 2 months out, I was still crying on a regular basis, still missed him like crazy, still thought/dreamed (sp? dreamt just doesn't look right) about him all the time.

 

All that is gone now. You will get there too. The worst thing is, it takes time to get to a better place. But you have to let it take time. You can't expect it to happen just like that, because it's now been 2 months. It'll happen, trust me.

[butterflyx0]

I'm a month in of NC and about two months since it was "over." I know exactly how you feel right now. I know you are sick of hearing people say, "It takes time" because I know that I hated that response from people. But it's true!

 

I agree with everyone else, the most important thing to do is let yourself grieve. I think the reason why I'm starting to feel better is because I've accepted that this is probably going to be the worst breakup I'll ever go through. Sure, I've broken up with other people before, but the problem was that I expected miracles, to feel better week later...and the more I pushed myself, the worse I feel. With this breakup, I'm allowing myself to cry, and to talk about it as much as i need to (my mom is a great listener)...I'm not trying to fake that I'm OK. You really will start to feel better, but don't beat yourself up if it takes longer than you want it to.

[bobsiesprincess]

thank you for all your replies. ive just lost all hope of ever getting through this. i dont have friends who are really there for me and im sitting in myself most of the time. im never going to be happy again

[HajiMaji]

Alright. If you look at my threads from a month ago or even a few weeks ago, I was in a very dark place. Some people say the first week is the hardest, for me it was more like 2 months into it. For some reason everything came to a head and I felt like i wanted to die. I was sad every morning that I woke up, and I cried within 5 minutes of waking up every day. Once I was reminded of my crappy life, i just felt so bad.

 

This continued for about 2 weeks. It was the hardest because i saw no way out and i was just in intense pain for so long. Heres the thing. If you stick with it you will feel better. Here I am at about the third month, and I am not happy. I do not feel fufilled. I still feel shaken up; however, I cried once last week. I still feel loads of pain. I feel super lonely lately. The difference is my pain isnt as bad. It still sucks really bad, but its not as bad.

 

So, that leads me to believe that in 3 months from now, I will also not feel as bad. I am not special, and i didnt do anything remarkable. Time passes and it helps. Just stick with it and dont be too hard on yourself. You are going through enough already.

[bobsiesprincess]

thank you HajiMaji, i see your point. fingers crossed things will get easier for me. i cant even remember what its like to feel happy anymore.

[bubblyblonde11]

Time hunny, time and company is working for me. When I keep busy doing whatever, even if its just cleaning the flat, then my mind is kept away from the subject of "him". So I do try as best I can, so the thoughts have got less and less because I have got out of the habit of sitting here non stop thinking about him, and instead sometimes drift off thinking about what I'm gonna eat, work next day, bills to pay, whats on the tv, what will I do at the gym tomorrow, what do I need to get done. etc

 

Work on keeping busy and grieving and the rest will come, in time hun.

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((big group hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[S agapo]

im not getting any better and its been almost 2 months now. i miss him more. i love him so much and i dont see this ever changing. i honestly dont think i can ever be happy again cos i know what im missing. i just want him, hes perfect for me, hes the one, nothing else matters without him. i dont know how im ever going to get through this. im so alone.

 

I know how u feel, and its a terrible feeling when everything u felt and emotionally invested for someone; he is gone! We are left confused to all the why's and to all the un -answered questions. But we have to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how hard it damn well is, and in my case one day I will find my way out of the hole I am in. Sadly it will take individual time! He was perfect for me; almost I suppose now. He ticked almost every box; the major un - ticked that was left was him REALLY wanting to take the relationship serious and further. That was the major thing! I see that now b'cos he never seemed interested for me to meet his friends/family even when some of them knew of me as I spoke to them in the past, and also he didn't often chase in spending more time with me as we had a 2 hour drive LDR (I hate last minute arrangements)! Maybe one day our men will realize their loss, and maybe not. But right now we have to learn to heal our own hearts and get on with our life without them. That is what they are doing right now. It really sucks and hurts so much. It's hard when u still love them! Yet u hate everything that has gone on as we are always thinking about them day in and day out.

[brokedownpalace]

I pretty much agree with everyone here.. so theres not more advice I could dispense.. however I just want to add that there is always a light at the tunnel. ALWAYS.. you just have to see through the clouds to see it. But once you see it walk towards it and your life will come together in ways you never thought possible.