Ups and Downs

[cabman]

A very brief history.... 8-1/2 weeks ago my 5-1/2 year relationship ended. Not my choice. I broke N/C 3 times, the last being a week ago. We had a couple of drinks and of course I did not hear any of what I was hoping for. When I went N/C a week ago I was of great resolve to not break it and still am. The tears are still flying. I was still upbeat until 2 days ago. Yesterday was a down day and last night the faucet was wide open. Today I was a wreck. I need to put a tourniquet around my neck to stop the damn flow.

 

I don't know whats normal and what isn't in this situation as I have never fell like this before. I thought the ups and downs were supposed to get less dramatic not more so.

 

Somebody give me a clue or something hopeful.

 

Thanks

[barbielovesmac]

I don't know whats normal and what isn't in this situation as I have never fell like this before. I thought the ups and downs were supposed to get less dramatic not more so.

 

This is normal.

 

What you are feeling is normal.

 

It's going to hurt, it's going to hurt like hell.

 

But only time will prevail. Only time will make you stronger.

 

Eventually you will pick yourself up off the ground.

 

You'll wake up and say "damn, I AM OK."

 

Believe me, Im going to through a wicked breakup myself.

 

(((hugs)))

[rsxguy520]

 

You'll wake up and say "damn, I AM OK."

 

 

it's true. one day i just woke and realized i'll make it in this world with or without them. and one year later i'm here stronger than ever.

[cabman]

This is normal.

 

What you are feeling is normal.

 

 

 

 

Well thats comforting..I was about ready to go to a shrink. I am usually a happy guy. Being in a rut like this for over 2 months is taking a toll. It looks like my only option is to hang in there....

[Rochelle]

Hey Cabman...I am from MD myself, so shout out to you!

 

Barbie is right in this...it will get better. If you look back on some of my original threads, you will see a testiment to that...now i can write to other's and offer advice where i thought i would never get to this point, ever!

 

Like you, i was up and down in emotional turmoil...i thought "i'm so exhausted, will this ever end"....it has...it's been a slow journey and i'm bound to have more moments, but coming on here and meeting some great people that have given me some wise advice and yes, have even told me just what i'm telling you....has been immensley helpful to me.

 

Everyone heals in their own timeframe...no two people heal exactly the same way at the same pace. You are going to have bad moments...esp when it is still raw...NC is raw for you...it's only been a week. Cut yourself some slack...

 

Cry it out, pace it out...the days will get better eventually and the NC will help you a great deal. Stay blissfully ignorant of your ex's life, this will help as well. In time you will have your pride and self confidence back.

 

Hang in there fella.. come here and vent all you like!

[freudj2000]

It is still too early. One thing I have experienced several times is the fact that the minute you break NC, the process resets. Break of NC is almost equal to break up again. So as far as your situation is concerned, you can safely consider that your break up was last week, when you last met her. It is too early to expect a change in the mood or any type of stability.

 

I also read and witnessed that the quicker you hit the rock bottom, the quicker you start healing. That means if you feel like you never felt like this before, you are about to hit the rock bottom, from where the trend can be only upwards. So it will get better. I am sure everyone on this web site can swear to the fact that when the break up happened, we felt like we wanted to stop breathing because it was so hurtful and felt like it will never pass, but time and NC really did help a lot. Mine has been over 5 months and I still have my down moments, and you will find others who still have down moments after many months. But the truth is, objectively speaking, we are doing much better when compared to the beginning. So you will feel better, I promise. Hang in there and my best wishes

[cabman]

Hey Cabman...I am from MD myself, so shout out to you!

 

Nice...another Marylander......What area....

 

I am Eastern Shore...

[tomtommyboy]

Buddy, 2 months after a 5 year relationship is nothing. I'm afraid you have to get into the habit of thinking long term in relation to the healing process (several months in most cases if it was a serious relationship). Not nice, but normal. You do NOT need to see a shrink! I was crying like a baby some days up to 4-5 months after it ended...so please don't worry about your "timeline".

 

And the ups and downs? Yeah. Almost worse. If it was all down and slowly alleviated that would be one thing. It's the days (later weeks) when you're convinced "I'm over this!" followed by the downers that's the real kicker...good luck.