I have BIG problems with getting female friends

[puny_guy]

Hi everyone,

I don't exactly know what I'm doing wrong to be sucessful with girls. None seem interested to get to know me. Well it's not like I DON'T try at all. For example at work I talk to girls. Well not so much talk but I greet them, ask how they're doing but I can tell that they're not interested by the neutral tone in their voices.

 

It bothers me that I'm 18 and don't have any female friends. How can I date girls without even having them as friends? Don't think it works that way. I know it takes me a LONG time to come out of my shell when it comes to meeting new people and being comfortable around them.

 

I figure that they find me boring because I don't make them laugh and having nothing interesting to say. I mean I can tell that they're not interested because they don't ask me any real questions. Nothing like "Hey!, how was your weekend!?" at work it's more like they just ask me the usual "what time did you start?" and "what time do you finish?"

 

Then I see the same girls going up to guys who haven't even worked there half as long as I have and they're laughing, talking about their weekends, what they got up too etc etc... I feel very excluded and alienated from them. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I need to get to know some girls as friends first before I can ever have a date, they way things are going it's not likely to happen soon. I must point out I'm not too social so if they were to ask me about my weekend I would make up some cok and bull story about what I did to not seem too boring.

 

Should I just talk to girls like they're one of the guys or what?

 

Any advice would be great thanks, not like I'm high on ideas right now people.

[Castiron]

My advice is just be yourself, because what if you put up this false front about things in your life and when you end up dating and starting a relationship, she finds out its a lie. All i do is be myself, i like to clown around alot and get attention. Hopefully a woman will reply to you and give some advice from there side. But just be yourself and things will be fine.

[phil1981UK]

Ask them if they heard the new album from somebody, tell em its pretty cool and you'll lend it to em. This has the benefit of talking to them at least three times about it, firstly when you say the above, the next day when you bring the album in and give it to her, and again when she gives it back to you.

 

A social life helps, try and get out, as a guy its perfectly fine to go into pubs on your own and sit at the bar with a beer, people WILL talk to you and within a few trips to the same pub you'll become a familiar face and all the regulars will know you and talk to you. Dont be afraid, their only people!

 

You must try n make em laugh, your lack of confidence will stop you doing this, but dont worry about sounding like a twat, take the micky out of em in a cheeky way, they'll laugh believe me.

 

Your biggest problem, like most people in your situation, is fear. Fear of looking stupid, fear of rejection, fear of no-one listening, simple fear. You gotta let go of the fear, otherwise youll be commited to a life sentance of never feeling free to do what you want. You want to talk to these girls, but the fear stops you, get past the fear and the results will amaze you.

[DREAM]

I kinda agree with waynerwayner about the social life thing, it helps see if you can organize something for the guys to go out and get the gals to come as well. And also ya be your self gals can tell when your trying to hard cos it just don't come out right.

 

Don't worry about the rest of the guys, people always have there attention on the new girl/guy, so be your self and don't try to hard.