Falling for my friend

[justagirl]

We've been friends for a while. We get along great, despite the age difference between us (6 years). I started falling for him about 2 months ago. I don't want to persue or tell him whats going on in my mind because he is still coping with a breakup. I want him to have the time he needs to deal with the break up. I tried to stop these feelings, but hes such a great guy. I'm so happy when we talk and he makes me laugh and feel good. I don't want to mess up the friendship we have. But I can't stop the feelings. I'm just confused, any advice would be greatful. I know this is somewhat of a kiddish post, but I don't know what to do anymore. I've almost told him, or talked to him about it twice, luckily I stopped myself. Thank you for reading this, greatly appreciated.

[setsuko1981]

I don't want to persue or tell him whats going on in my mind because he is still coping with a breakup. I want him to have the time he needs to deal with the break up.

 

I hate to tell you this, but unless you're patient (then wait for the right time), the only way to find out is for you to ask him if he's interested in you and tell him of your feelings. If not, be there for him (you said he's giong through a break up); if he needs advise or help, offer him a helping hand. Who knows, he might notice your support and concern for him and your friendship might evolve into something more.

[Corky]

Justagirl.

 

I saw your post and just wanted to commiserate, especially because you said "I don't want to mess up the friendship we have. But I can't stop the feelings. I'm just confused, any advice would be greatful. I know this is somewhat of a kiddish post, but I don't know what to do anymore. I've almost told him, or talked to him about it twice, luckily I stopped myself".

 

The same thing is happening with me, and your words exactly express how I feel about MY friend. I've come close to telling her too, and I too feel "kiddish" in asking for help, but it's really not kiddish at all. It shows you care and want to do it right.

 

My friend too broke up with her b/f (almost 5 months ago). No advice, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one out there feeling this way. In my case, I want to tell her so much, but I'm really scared to risk the friendship.

 

Let me know if you come up with any solutions, and I'll do the same for you. Good luck...I really hope it works out the way you want it to.

 

Oh yea...to see my situation, see the topic "Falling for a Wonderful Friend".

[justagirl]

Thanks for the advice guys. I am still stuck on what to do and everything but I just wanted to update this a bit. Well, we talk everyday and it is great. He makes me laugh and we have the best conversations. I haven't been this comfortable and havent had conversations like this in forever...if ever. The thing that is really different for me is it doesn't feel like I have to work at liking him...it feels right and natural. I'm so confused! But I think I'll just wait it out for when I think things are cleared up for him enough to bring it up. Thanks again for the advice...appreciate it.

~*Justagirl*~

 

Does anyone know what I should do? Or has been in a situation like this?

[mymanda]

hi there. actually, i'm in a similiar situation myself. it feels so great when we talk and hang out. everything you wrote was exactly what i'm feeling. it's really so sketchy when you fall for a friend, because it's not like any other guy. there's a lot at stake. and friends are so hard to find. i wish i had the answer. i used to say, "friends are friends." and you just date random guys you happen to like...but never change a friendship. it's just one of those things, that if it goes right...it's the perfect love story. but if it goes wrong...it's one of the saddest situations. all i'll say to you, is what i tell myself. just be patient and wait for the right time. like, right now...i'm so tempted to say something...because my feelings are getting stronger and stronger the closer we get...the longer we know each other...the more things we go through together. but one of the things we went through together were very difficult breakups a few years ago. and it may sound crazy...but it changed him. he's so guarded and untouchable now. he's still not ready to open up his heart completely again & allow himself to get hurt again like he did when he lost his first love. i guess you can kindov relate that to your friend getting over his breakup too. in either case, i guess we just need a lot of patience. meanwhile, the friendship is more than enough to make us happy...and hopefully, these friends of ours will notice or realize that we are always there for them and care for them so much. good luck to you! i hope i helped a lil. although, i know i'm off my rocker too cuz i'm just as confused and stressed! =P

[justagirl]

thanks for everyones advice...I appreciate you taking your time to respond to this. Hope all is well.