Girlfriends Parents Dont Accept Me

[redhotchilipepper]

Hey all...well to get straight down to it my ex girlfriends parents dont accept me because I am not from the same backround as they are...although we are both European we arent from the exact same country. This has a very big strain on me and her since it was a big part of the reason why we broke up. She told me that if her parents didnt mind us dating so much it would make things so much more bearable. At first they didnt mind me but as soon as they found out we were getting serious they started complaining. Lately they always tell her how her future children would lose their heritage but my parents are much more accepting of her and tell her they love her like a daughter.. complete opposites.

 

My question is...is there anything at all that I could do to establish a better relationship with my exs parents. I would be willing to do anything at all to salvage what was lost in between us. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

[Lana0120]

I don't think that there is. Not straight away, anyway. However, they may mellow once you are married and once they see how cute their grandchildren are. Lots of parents disapprove of their child's choice (for whatever reason), but as the years go by, their attitudes change. However, I wouldn't get your hopes up here, I am afraid. However, I am a great believer that love conquers all and if you two love each other, ultimately, it doesn't matter what her parents think of your relationship. *hugs*

[nuttybuddy]

Hi RHCP,

 

I think you could try to get some clues from your gf and butter them up. If your gf loves you and you love her, that's the most important thing. If you two are serious enough to want to marry each other, I think the rest is just a little work.

 

I'm sure your gf has the insider scoop on what your parents like. Have her help you on doing things that will soften them up.

 

I know of a couple who's going through something similar like yourself. The guy's family didn't like her. Even though she was outgoing and friendly, they didn't like her because she was of different background. And this guy, he's a loyal guy to his family. Not once did he ever refuse or deny anything his family had to say. But as far as his love, he wasn't yet willing to let go of her. So, the family was pretty shocked that he wasn't the obedient son he always was. But as time passes, the family seems to be warming up to the girl. Don't get me wrong... they still don't like her so far, but she is trying VERY HARD. One of the complaints that the family gave to the son was that they wouldn't be able to speak their own language to her. So, this gf learned how to greet them in their language and surprised them. They were pretty impressed. Of course, she only learned how to say "hello" and "goodbye" but at least it was a start. And because she's so outgoing, when she and he visit the family, she always goes in the kitchen to help out with the cooking or what not.

 

For you, being a guy... I donno what to offer you advice, except you should get your hints from your gf. Maybe you could find out what the parents like, or needs. You can buy it for them. It's a start.

[AwdreeHpburn]

So....... you and your gf are split up because of that? Or are you still together?

 

I doubt there is any one thing you could do. I guess this is something her parents will have to GROW comfortable with unfortunately.

 

They will either accept that she's dating someone they disapprove of or they will give her a hard time forever.

 

Is it YOU they don't like specifically? Or just the fact that you're not of her same heritage?

 

Have you ever had a chat to them about it??