How do i get a girl to understand people can change

[kodiakxt]

my ex believes people cant change, she wont give me another chance because she believes that people cant change who they are. i think they can.

[collins21]

prove to her that u can change. tell her to meet u somewhere, or get her alone and talk to her. tell her u can prove it to her. if she still cant see that people change, well then i just give her time. people can come around on their own.

[DREAM]

.I would really say that if someone really likes you then they should except you for who you are not change you.

 

But if you feel as you, your self what's to change then. Don't tell her about it, take action, and do it in such a way where it will be noticed, but don't tell her your doing it.

[duhast]

Ask for the chance to prove you've changed - not by telling her but by showing here - and give it time. Changing might not take a long time for some people but proving it will.

[emdeesea]

I think it depends on what the problem is.

 

If it's because you leave the toothpaste cap off, that's one thing. If it's because you're an addict of some sort or abusive, that's entirely another.

 

I tend to also believe people can't change their basic personalities. Habits, maybe, but not personalities.

[LovelyLady]

Actions speak louder than words. Show her.... but dont expect instant results. She needs to feel certain that your change and intentions are good and forever-lasting. Only time and consistence can help you there.

[Mar]

I will be the first to say that you can't change the things intrinsic to you....if you're stubborn and tend to argue because you truly feel you have a valid point (like me) that won't change. If you leave your socks lying around, that CAN change, that's just sheer laziness. But if it's something that's ingrained in you, whether it's how you deal with other people, or your views on life, love, relationships, whatever...then no, I don't see that changing anytime soon.

 

We're all brought up with different values, and different perceptions of how to treat people. If you've had this hammered into you since the earliest childhood memories, that's an awfully hard habit to break. It's not bad, it's just not compatible with certain people, and most often comes out when you're with someone you love. But If the person you love has valid points and you can look at those points rationally and see the error in your ways and the common sense in THEIR ways, it might get you to thinking that this is something you DO want to change. Might not work, but there's certainly no harm in trying!

 

Relationships are about compromise...that doesn't take a lot of soul-searching to see what you're being purely stubborn about, and what you truly can't comprehend. Take a look at yourself, and how you typically deal with difficult situations. If you're firmly convinced you have the best solution and no one else's advice seems to measure up to yours, you have some thinking to do on your own ego. But if you can look at it maturely and responsibly and realize that you MAY have some error in your judgement, then you're well on the way to a positive change!

 

Mar

[BellaSophia]

my ex believes people cant change, she wont give me another chance because she believes that people cant change who they are. i think they can.

 

you'll drive yourself nuts if you think you can change who you are. You can't. People remain with the same characteristics forever, and although there can be improvements, overall, things never change within yourself. Why would you want to do that anyway?

[kodiakxt]

thank you everyone for replying, Mar hit it exactly on the head though. its my stubborness, at the time i couldnt back down in an argument because i always think my point has a lot more credit than hers. i always won the arguments but in the end it wasnt even really worth it. it wasnt until after she broke up with me that i realized it, but now i cant get her to trust me that things will be different.

[surfdog]

I believe you can change, you will have instincts but you have to proceed slowlyand catch yourself when you slip...take it from me, I slipped because I wasn't paying attention to what I was saying and I lost the love of my life. I HAVE CHANGED!