Is he the one?

[pinaymy]

My friend and I have been dating for the past 4 1/2 years. I don't wanna call him my ex, 'cuz technically he isn't. I'm a single mom and started dating him when he was 23 and i was 26. Everything happened soooo fast which should have been the first clue that it wasn't going to work out. We lived together a month after dating. We bought a home together and now he is having second thoughts. He indicated that he might not be ready for a family or to be a dad. He doesn't know what he wants at this point. We have sold the home and split the profits which he was kind enough to give me 60% of. The confusing part is now that we have separated all financial ties and are no longer co-habitating is when he seems to want to come around. He says that selling our home is just a stepping stone, and that I should view this experience as the beginning and not the end. How can I when he's turned my world upside down? He is such a wonderful guy whom I can see as being my true soulmate someday. I just see him needing to grow up more and mature more. How can I be his friend or even contemplate starting over with him knowing that all my expectations of him will never be fulfilled at least not at this time.

[Jitrenda]

Hey There Pinaymy!

 

Well hon, you do have a couple of choices.

 

1. Be patient with him, and wait for him to grow up and come around. And wait until he decides that he really wants a family and a home with you.

 

2. Tell him you would like a home and a family and a life with him, at this point in your life. And see what he says. Then try and compromise.

 

3. Tell him to grow up. Harsh...but sometimes effective...not always.

 

Personally, i think maybe you two should just sit down and talk this out. Tell him what you are feeling and what you need. And then let him tell you what he needs. And try and compromise. If you really want a family and a home now and he's not ready, you may have to move on with your life.

 

And maybe a while down the road, he will come around.

 

If you talk it out now, he may come around...you never know. I hope this helps hon!

 

Take care and take it easy!

 

*hugs*

 

-jitrenda