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When did this happen?


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Im sitting here at my computer, after skipping school and leaving early, wondering when this happened to me. I have a ring on my finger that says "class of 2004" and i will be 18 on the 10th of this month. I still feel like the little girl who was mean to the little kids next door and tried to bend their fingers back, the little girl who was soo excited about going into junior high school, the little girl who played with a baby doll and even acted like she had a babysitter while she had to go to school to be a 3rd grader, and the little girl who had blond piggy-tails and wore little pink dresses. Now i look at myself and i realize how much ive changed. I have really dark hair (almost black) and i only wear black clothes. Im so afraid of what will happen this summer when i graduate. I mean, believe me i will be happy to be out of there, but then what do i do with my life. I have no idea what i want to be and all of a sudden im being thrust out there to decide. When did all of this happen to me? Just yesterday it seems i was the freshman who was attacked and 'O1 was written on my forehead. Now im the senior putting '04 on some little freshman in marker. God, now im going to cry. i feel like im not ready for this. cant i be a little kid for a little longer, why does it have to be now, when the worlds so crazy? Im just like this because we had cap & gown measurements today. I almost cried then to

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Just because your graduating and turning 18 does not mean that instantly you have to be grown up. Take your time, trust me it doesn't have to be rushed. I know people who graduated a decade ago, and they are still not ready for the big world. Just relax and take what life hands you. Things have a way of working themselves out. Especially when you take such a major new step in your life. Everything will fall into place, just take your time and enjoy life while you're still young....

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hey

have u ever heard of the saying....you laugh at me because im different but i laugh at you because your all the same?

 

well dont submit yourslelf to that, everyone has the right to be different and if you want to be that little girl with pigtails and blonde hair playing with dolls, well you brighten your life and do that. if you feel uncomfortable with having dark hair then change it, life is all about doing what you want and making it unique to yourself. you dont have to be like everyone else.

 

because everyone feels they have to be the same as them before them and go to further education or jobs it doesn mean you have to, take a gap year, explore the world, do what you want to do, if this is effecting you as much as it is then have a break from it all, give your mind a chance to clear and at that point you can go out there with a positive mind and do what you want.

 

i would like to say well done for you graduating and you should be proud to wear that cap and gown. it is an achievement, so dont vry and if you are crying wipe those tears. and smile

 

good luck in the future and if you want to talk you know my pm or what ever.

bye kel

you will succeed in life

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thank you very much for your comments. But its not like i dont like who i am now, i dyed my hair dark and i listen to angry thrasher punk rock music, its just that i cant believe i have to go out there and try to make decisions as an adult and figure out what my future will be. I am happy i am graduation, it really has nothing to do with that, its just that its the realization of whats coming after that. Oh, and by the way, i LIVE by that saying "you laugh at me because im different, but i laugh at you bacause youre all the same" i mean i was skipping today because of a "prep-rally" Man i busted out of there with Green Day or Mindless Self Indulgence blasting from my car radio, i dont remember which.

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I can remember feeling this way too. When summer comes you will hang out with some of your friends, and probably party with them on occasion, but all good things must come to an end, otherwise we would all stay at home and be a kid for ever, unfortunately we don't all get to do that.

 

Be happy for what you have and start to make some adult goals. This is important or else you may feel like time is passing you by still, in the furture!

 

Be good to the freshman, remember how it feels to have someone control you and remember that it is possible to hurt others by our words and actions!

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