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Stuck in a attitude, whats the solution


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Okay here is my problem I think , I am a little closed minded when it comes to meeting people , it might be because I am a little shy and also I have got hurt badly in a relationship.


Its like when I go out to socialize or even meeting people I tend to have a very hard time keeping a open mind , I tend to make conclusions about people like judge them ..i know this is not good so I make a conscious effort to not to but because I have been hurt or I don’t know why I still end up doing it


I am also really harsh on myself , always analyzing my career and my attitude , I feel I am not living life but constantly watching it go by..


How can I change this attitude or whatever it is that has made me like this, and the irony is that I am a gr8 guy when I give somebody a chance to know me …I wish I could stop all this

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My initial thoughts are that you're approaching this from the right direction, it just takes time and effort. You realize your insecurities or "problems" (I hate to call it that, don't take that to heart).


The best advice I can give you is to keep on trying to knowingly make this effort. It's good that you know you're a great guy, that means you don't have too much insecurity about yourself, but there is definitely something else there. Just keep an open mind, as you have been, and go with the flow. You'll eventually find the person you can just click with, and things will work out. The fact is, you're not in denial about judging someone too quickly, so you're already halfway there!


Don't give up yet!


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Yeah I know admitting that you have a problem is like half way to the solution , I know it’s a problem with me and I am I guess working on it , I am just scared that I guess if I don’t get some positive feed back on the


new open mind thingy I might go back into this closed mind shell for a long time , which I don’t want to because I would like to share myself with other people get involved in their lives or them involved in mine , cause I got so much to offer and I need so much too.. maybe joining a charity or something any suggestions(this site has really helped me thanks all)

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First of all, everyone gets hurt in their past, everyone. That's it's all about, you ever learned from what you've experience or dwell on that for the rest of your days. I'll tell you what I think, but I prefer flat out honesty to pitying you.


Second of all, remember that flaws and strong points are all a structure of our own interpretations. You say you're close minded. Try to find the strong points of your so-called flaws. You say you're close minded, I say you've got high standards for friends and you deserve it.


Third of all, so what if you judge people, everybody does. Give you some slack, you seem very strict towards you, like you don't the right not to be perfect. Forgive yourself, and put some emphasis on things that are going great, not the opposite. I wouldn't be surprised if you were someone who was very successful in his job and very perfectionnist.


Fourth of all, thank god you realize you're a great guy. Anyone that doesn't think he is great is automatically wrong. As far as your attitude, there ain't no magic formulas. BUT REALISE YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS AND THE WAY YOU THINK. You can work wonders by taming your mind, don't be a slave of your thoughts, be a master.





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  • 6 years later...

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