Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb Posted September 29, 2003 Share Posted September 29, 2003 Hey everyone, Happy here Feel like a challenge? Well here's one for u. I've written this thing, i don't kno what its supposed 2 b. I guess i just want some feedback and if u can, could u tell me what you think i'm going on about...like whats goin on within it? Any responses would b greatly appreciated and a remember: a drunk man's thoughts are a sober man's thoughts. I kno its a bit long, but hang in there... I'm alone on this path, alone in the dark In the distance, there is light, too good to be true it does seem. So...magnificent, so...different and its just what i wanted. Is this..the end of my journey? Or is this just the next phase. Will that light last long enough? Will that light, be strong enough, to support my very own? I venture towards the distant light taking every risk. It goes out, leaving me alone once again. But unseen to the naked eye, it has only dimmed, scarred deep within, it is afraid. Afraid of taking chances, afriad of what may come when the only thing it needs to do is glow so ever brightly. Like my very own. I cannot risk loosing what could be the only thing that will lead me, away from this path, away from this lonelyness. I don't know how its happening, but it I can sense the light, far away, and its moving even further. I reach out, trying to grab it, but it is not within my grasp. Reality kicks in, the pain is too much, one last time i reach out, only to find my own light going out. Alone, once again, alone on this path, alone in the dark. When will there be another light? and will that light support me, if not all the way to the end of my journey? Without my light, it is only a matter of time before i'm trapped here, alone on this path, alone in the dark. The cold will only end this premature journey. I begin to relase my longing for the light, knowing it'll probably never let me find it. But to my surprise, my own light has been set alight. How can this be? Did i not use all that radiant energy up? My light brightens the darkness, warms up the cold but am I still alone on this path? alone in the dark? alone on my journey? No, your existence upon the darkness, was the one to set my light abright. Your existence upon the darkness lights the darkness bright. You were the one to set my light abright... Happy Heb Link to comment
mb_guy Posted September 29, 2003 Share Posted September 29, 2003 Why did you write that? What was your motivation? Link to comment
Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb Posted September 30, 2003 Author Share Posted September 30, 2003 My motivation..was 2 share somethin i've written and see what ppl make outta it. Ppl do it all the time here at enotalone... Happy Heb Link to comment
optimistic person Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 MAN that was really good, you need to get those poems that you write in books. Your really good that this. What is your occupation. Link to comment
madison2021 Posted October 3, 2003 Share Posted October 3, 2003 hey i guess im going to take a crack it since everyone else is not..yes it was a really neat poem type thing...and probably more so if we know actually what it was about heres my thoughts it seems that in ur lifetime u had a person that u were really in love with but they left u with only a light to guide ur way...since maybe they needed to find there own..now u are lonely and traveling alone....u see a bright light on ur path and that could either mean that u see another person in which you sorta of like and either there not really all that good since your path is dark and any amount of light will look bright......or this is a person in which you could fall in love with but ur scared of getting hurt and the light goes out because ur scared and they no that...so i dotn no if i explained this at al correctly but i think u need to not be scared of getting hurt and light ur light with the next later Link to comment
charmed Posted October 3, 2003 Share Posted October 3, 2003 Hi Heb ! I have to say, I like that a lot It makes you think a lot about your dependence, and the impact of others on yourself in a very interesting way ! Well done, Frame it and show some people you trust ! They'll surely love it. ~ Link to comment
Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb Posted October 3, 2003 Author Share Posted October 3, 2003 Hey everyone. Thnx for replyin and givin me some supportive feedback... Optimistic Person: lol u give me 2 much credit, i'm just an odinary 16 year old guy. I don't really think half the time but when i do, i just think 2 much and it annoys me so i write poems and songs etc to get it all out and channel my thoughts onto somethin as well as orginising them and stuff...its kinda hard 2 explain. Everyone else: In case u were wonderin, madison got pretty close to it (thnx heaps 4 the guess, it was a good one). I purposely put a huge clue in at the end, giving the light a human quality so ppl would think its someone and it'd all b easier 2 understand. Basically the light represents our heart (as a person) most the time but there are at times where i put it there just 4 the settin i created the alone, dark cold etc it also represents hope (eg light going out, i give up). Journey/paths etc represents our life and at times, finding that someone special in ur life. Overall the poem's just about my gf, whom i really missed at the time. Madison was a bit out during the end, i try hard 2 get her but she was the one who was afraid and yea, i'd been hurt b4 that's why there was this dark setting. Anyway, i pretty much gave up on her (she said she wanted time and space) just when i lost it all, what i felt etc, she got ova whateva it was that she was havin a hard time wif and everything i felt came back, just like that. Basically its suppose 2 give ppl hope, that nothing's impossible and good things take time. She lit up my light, she could b that someone in my life, so she could guide me to the end of the journey of finding that someone if u kno what i mean. I think that's about all i'll say...lotsa hidden meanings hey? Thnx everyone once again, Happy Heb Link to comment
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