I'm having some strange feelings is this normal?

[life is hard]

I broke up with my boyfriend about 4 months ago he was a great guy he just wasent ready for such a serious relationship so we decided to take a break. i got sick of waiting for him so i started going out with this new guy he treats me really good and we spend all our time together. Ive been going out with him for 2 months now. My ex tried being friends with me but it was too hard for him so now he doesnt talk to me at all.I know he would get back together with me if i let him. We went out for almost 2 years i always thought i would marry my ex and i'm starting to think about my ex a lot. I really miss him even though he didnt treat me as good as my new boyfriend. Are these normal feelings? What do you think i should do?I know i care about my new boyfriend a lot but i used to be in love with my ex.

[charmed]

Hi There Life is Hard,

 

Yes - feelings like this after 4 months are normal. It's just your new boyfriend may have clouded your pain for a small while, now it is sinking in once you have a relative leveling out in your life.

 

Two things,..

 

1. You have a committment to your present boyfriend - don't treat that with disrespect both for yourself and for your boyfriend.

 

2. Your ex sounds like he is unsure about what he wants - he didn't want relationship, now in retrospect, he does. You have something good now, and while your past relationship had some great times, you are in another relationship now. You should not let it suffer at the hands of your last relationship.

 

I would say, ride these feelings out for another while. If you are feeling the same about your ex in a few months time, then it is genuine, and you should look at the situation again. Otherwise, you should stay where you are, and accept that it is OK to be feeling like this. Don't make a decision based on a present moment emotion that may not be all it is cooked up to be !

 

Hope this helps you some,

[Vash]

seems like your having trouble falling OUT of love if you think you would be better off with yoru ex then go to him. remember it can always be too late but never too early

[Lightingbird]

During your first six months in a new relationship. You will go through a refining period when you get rid of your old thoughts and feelings. Also, concerning your new relationship, after this time the illusion that both of you are presenting for one another should disappear and the real person should surface.

 

This is a completely normal process.

 

Now keep in mind this time frame is merely a educated guess.

 

Are you sure that your old boyfriend could not treat you better?

 

What I am saying did you tell him how you like to be treated? Show him how in different ways? Give him time to adjust and not yell or attack him when he failed?

 

Please be sure that you did make a good decision before you spend any more time with your new boyfriend. Its not fair to either of you if you are not completely committed in mind and soul to him.

 

Make the right decision.

Good luck to you.