I'm going to be alone forever

[Aonz]

Hi

 

I'm 22 and I've never had a girlfriend and I don't think I ever will.

 

For one thing I know I'm ugly, I look in the mirror and I see this ugly person looking back at me. Sometimes it feels like the reflection isn't me. It's crazy I know, but it's like I may be in this body but it isn't really me.

 

I ain't really a shy person I can talk too women but I've never asked one out and unsurprisingly none have asked me. I think it dawned on me when I was about 10 years old that I was ugly when the other kids at school (heard this before?) used too call me "frankenstein" (nice name ain't it). I pretended it didn't bother me I just smiled and joked as if I was a happy person and I act the same way today. But it did hurt and I sort of feel empty now, you know that feeling when your heart sinks? It's kinda like that but all the time.

 

Now I seem to have gone numb inside, I don't seem to feel anything anymore. I'm in my final year of a degree but I don't seem to care if I pass or not. I know I should care but I just don't give a sh*t. If I can't share my life with someone what does it matter? I have no desire too be rich; I know money can't buy me love or anything that really matters.

 

I won't kill my self I couldn't do that to my parents. But I'm not bothered if I die tomorrow, yeah I have a natural fear of death but I can't say my life ending actually bothers me.

 

Thanks for reading my post I hope I haven't depressed you I don't really know what love is but I do know its worth more than all the money in the world.

[RuSH]

Im in the same boat as you man, although im not sad at all. I see this getting women as a challenge, its pretty fun! Thinkin wat they would say or do just makes me tingle inside.

[Mar]

You know what always gets me about these posts? The URGENCY. You're 22, hon. RELAX. You're not an old man, you're not eating cat food out of the tin with 6,359 cats at your feet, you're not wearing raggedy sweaters.....so WHAT if you're not Prince Charming? I'm no beauty myself, and it took me till 27 to find someone who actually LOVED me. You have SO much time. And believe me, I'm not making light of the fact that the loneliness and isolation SUCKS, because I'VE BEEN THERE. It DOES suck, and you have that heavy feeling in your chest and start looking at yourself as THE ugliest duckling, and you cry.....BUT IT DOESN'T LAST FOREVER. You ever hear the saying "there's someone out there for everyone"? It's so true. By 27, I was a wreck. I was convinced that I was gonna be a crazy old maid living in some ramshackle house with no money, no friends, no nothing, and it made me cry to think that way when I was so young. BUT IT CHANGED. I finally said "Alright God, I'm sick of this crap. I'm tired of being alone, and searching for Mr. Right, or even Mr. Right Now, so freakin' DO something about it, will you? I give up." And he DID. A month later, when I'd given up looking, there came my guy. My friends were there for me all along, I just didn't want them. You can't snuggle up to your friends real effectively, after all!

 

So the moral of the story is: Don't be a quitter, and lose the "I suck" attitude. If you're not that great-looking, then use your personality. Worked for me. You WILL find someone, is my point. Might not be tomorrow, might not be next week.....but you WILL, trust me on this. And until then, just use your time in how YOU like to, whatever hobbies interest you, friends, etc. You're not a loser, you're not ugly, but most of all, YOU'RE NOT ALONE. Your special woman just hasn't found you yet!

[Dannyboy]

You're 22, you've got you're whole life ahead of you! I don't want to sound like an old fuddy-duddy (I'm 31) but it's true.

The things people called you at school obviously hurt you, but I defy ANYONE to say that they were never called names at school. It can be a hard, cruel place. And when anyone looks in the mirror at themselves, they see only the bad things. Only conceited A-holes look at a reflection of themselves and see perfection. The people who called you names at school - THEY'RE UGLY.

Concentrate on your studies, they're important and I'm sure you know it. YOU come first.

If you see someone you like, ask 'em out! What's the worst thing that can happen? They say no, then you move on to the next one. Nobody gets killed!!

You'll get there in the end! Trust me!

[OmegaMan]

Mar I have to admit, what you say make an awful lot of sense. I bow to your wisdom.

 

Aonz

 

I'm 22 and I've never had a girlfriend and I don't think I ever will.

 

U know what's great about life? You can't predict what's gonna happen tomorrow. So I don't think you have the right to say you'll never ever have a g/f, that would be a little pessismistic, wouldn't? Do not give up.

 

I think it dawned on me when I was about 10 years old that I was ugly when the other kids at school (heard this before?) used too call me "frankenstein" (nice name ain't it). I pretended it didn't bother me I just smiled and joked as if I was a happy person and I act the same way today. But it did hurt and I sort of feel empty now, you know that feeling when your heart sinks? It's kinda like that but all the time.

 

Hmm.. you know, I keep saying that, but did you know how the subconscious works? You know how you sometimes some thoughts take comes instantly? It's because you've programmed yourself in a certain way. We are mostly programmed in our young age. So you might've carried this perception of yourself from when you were younger. I know you probably think this doesn't help, but it does. Try to think differently, be aware of the way you think, that would be the only and best way to change your patterns of thoughts. Don't dwell on the fact that you're not going to get a girlfriend, why don't you take advantage of the current moment to enjoy life. You would probably be a bit happier with someone in your life, but then it would be someone else. The thing with us humans is that we believe that once we get this and that things will be perfect. But it's so untrue, once something is settled it's something else. Which is why it's so important to take advantage of any situations we are in.

 

Now I seem to have gone numb inside, I don't seem to feel anything anymore. I'm in my final year of a degree but I don't seem to care if I pass or not. I know I should care but I just don't give a sh*t. If I can't share my life with someone what does it matter? I have no desire too be rich; I know money can't buy me love or anything that really matters.

 

 

Careful, you should be careful not to flunk school, I don't think it would make things much better. Money doesn't buy everything, but it certainly buys a lot of important things. Also, succeeding in what you suceed is pretty much a good thing and a great way to get some self-confidence.

 

Hope this kind of changed your perspective on things. Remember, you don't have control on a lot of thing, but you have full control on how you see life and it's up to you to change your perceptions if they don't make you happy.

 

Etienne, Omega Man

[Aonz]

For a moment I was afraid to read your replies.

 

I understand what you're saying I know I'm still young (although I sometimes feel old) and I want to be a better person but the direction my life is going somehow feels wrong. Maybe I should get professional help I think I may be in depression.

 

I haven't cried for along time (maybe a decade) I guess it's just me been a typical man but I can't cry. (thats so soppy)

[in recognition of...]

all I have to say is this: there's someone out there for everyone. Keep your spirits up cause she could be knockin on your door anyday now. You just never know.

[qbert]

eep, im 16 at the moment, i useto look at girlfrends as a challange but now its more of a nessiesity to find one and be together for ages. my advice mate if you look in the mirror and think your ugly then go change that. whe i got dumped i lost 30k and now am about 57k. now im working out to get the weight back. but you feel so good about yourself every time you look a little better. once you have a higher self esteme the girls will be like... metal to a magenet... till then try to get lots of femail friends and have as much fun as possible.

 

 

 

Blake

[neva_black_n_white]

do you know what some of the most beautiful people are the ones with personalities not looks.

if you feel that you are ugly then change this, do what you need to do to make yourself feel good, i can ensure you that you arent ugly, no one is.

your only ugly when your full of hatred for everything inside. honestly.

 

i feel that if you chose these feelings at a young age then you have remained with them.

have you ever heard of ..... you are what people make you or you are what other say you are.

well change that, you are yourself and dont let yourself go numb inside, you sound like a great person, you find it easy to talk to people, well use this to get a girl if you wish.

 

you will find someone and they will love you for you. everyone has the right person for them.

 

hope this has helped some what.

kel

[Dubzuk]

u have to think positive, im 21 and never had a boyfriend but i know it will happen for me, its just a matter of time, dont go looking for it coz it'll come when u least expect it