Thinking I'm someone else.

[Sylivia]

I do hope that you have the time to read all my waffle, but I could do with some advice.

I know this sounds really stupid, and I wish that I could deal with it, but I am too embarrassed to see a doctor about it, and would never want to discuss it with my Councellor, I kind of approached the subject, but backed away when I felt I was going to say to much.

When I am out in public I pretend I am someone famous, to deal with going outside, sometimes when I sing in church, it starts to come over me, and once again I find myself thinking I am a famous person.

I live in the real world, but I also have the tragic fantasy world, which stops me from getting on with my life, because I can't stop thinking about them

When I was younger I was physically, sexually and emotionaly abused, and became three alters, which helped me to deal with it, The Child, The Mother and the Man protector figures, but they have gone now, after help.

My church have told me that I only think about this person because I should be praying for them, and carry a burden for their soul, which I believed but now I am not so sure....

I have been fed so much rubbish and been abused by a Christian too, so my heads a bit crazy at the mo, and I am grieving as I am having to deal with flashbacks from sexual trauma.

My mum did believe me, but now she doesn't, as she said God has told her that I was never abused.

I wish I could live a normal life.

I love my hubby, and he is so kind, but I keep getting scared and think that everything is going to slip away from me, at any given moment, and typing this, I feel like that person again.

Please help!, How do I get through this!

I pray to God to just get through each Day!

[booberry]

Do you think that acting as a famous person is turning into the same escape that your other personalities became for you? I think you need to talk to your councellor about this, and stop taking pscyhological advice from your church. Your church is there to comfort you, not diagnose.

[wandy27]

I think u should speak to someone like out side the church maybe some therapy can help u...sometimes church people think that everything is solved with prayers which can not...yes u can pray but u also need a profesional to speak to...stay positive try going to a women support group where there are women that have gone through the same things u have and many of them have success stories and tips that might be able to help u greatly....do it on ur own no need to ask ur church community if u should go to a women support group or not,,its ur life and decision grab it an live it ; ) hope u get the help u deserve hun

[Daddy Bear]

It's common for the mind of an abused person to create a secondary persona in order to protect you and help you deal with the memories. There is no shame in it. The church and your mother mean well, but their views are unlikely to actually be helpful to you and have only served to make you feel more conflicted. I agree with booberry in that your best bet is to let your councellor know. The very fact that you are hesitant to do so shows that this is something that needs to be addressed when you're ready to face it and get it off your chest.

[Sylivia]

Thanks for your wise advice, thats it in a nut shell, maybe I have been too frightened to face up to the truth of what has happened to me.

It makes perfect sense to me that I am protecting my other self.

I will speak to a health care proffesional.

 

 

Joy

[girl friend]

I guess you need to work on being happy in yourself. Its ok to pretend to be someone great, but you could become them. What admirable qualities do they have? Good athletic form? Nice personality? Happy? Good looks? Strong?

Then try to turn it into you..., you can become the person you love once you love yourself. ... make sense?

It sounds like insecurity problems to me, which is common after abuse.

 

Perhaps in a difficult situation think ''well how would ''such a person'' handle this?'' Then you take that action. And when it turns out well, thats because of you, not '''such a person.''

[Sylivia]

It's kinda funny but the person I think I am, is really weak and has loads of problems, If I thought I was a super hero that would be fine I guess, or somebody who had done something worth anything.

But at least I can joke about the fact that I now think I'm a gay fellar.

My husband laughs because when I dance, he says you look just like a gay man.

And I know why, I definatley need some kind of help, but I can tell you I am embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. I can talk to my husband he says it's positive because I am acting more like a female.

So I guess I am healing, but there are issues I'm having trouble with.

And I wear skirts to convince myself that I am not actually a man.

I'm not attracted to women, but I have had to act like a man in order to cope with my abusive family. My husband understands which is a blessing, but he thinks I should go and get help from a Therapist rather than a councellor, I don't know how to go about it, or where to start. I haven't got the money to afford one. So what do I do?

My Doctor just wanted to give me tablets, and the therapist I went to was no good, because he was a man, and I felt uncomfortable.

My councellor said that she did not have the expertise to deal with the alter issue.

Where do I begin?

[booberry]

Ask your concellor to recommend a therapist to you who would be able to deal with your other self.

[Sylivia]

Thank you for this advice, I will.

I see my councellor next week.