kz91

Seeing my counsellor on Wednesday, hopefully I will feel better. I'm slowly moving on but that doesn't stop me from loving you. I love you so much..

I've woken up missing you and it hits me like a ton of bricks, every morning. You're not coming back and it hurts so much, knowing that you're not in my life anymore. You're not the first person I talk to when something is wrong, you're not the first person I ring when something good has happened. Sadly, you're not that person anymore, the one that I fell so in love with. It's your first shift after a week off today, so I hope you have a nice day back. I miss you so much that it hurts. Life without you isn't the same. You've changed your number, blocked me on Facebook. You've cut me off as if I meant nothing to you.

Saw a car the same as yours before and I thought it was you! Oh my god. I swear my heart almost fell out of my chest..

Life is unfair..

It's been a week since I last saw your face and a week since we last text. A week? It's the longest we've ever gone without texting and my thumbs don't need a rest anymore. I miss you being in my life alot, if I'm honest. Not only have I lost the only girl I ever loved but I've also lost my bestfriend and I'm dealing with that. I've let you go and I'm moving on so you can be happy, I want you to be happy even if I'm not the reason. I always said that I can't live without you, but guess what? I am and it's going better than I thought it would but it really isn't easy either. You were a huge part of my life and now I'm cutting that part off me. I'm cutting the part off me and it hurts, there's cuts and wounds that will take time to heal. When I last saw you, I tried to kiss you because I really wanted one and you pulled away which killed me, that's what hurt me the most on that day. I shouldn't have done that, I'm really sorry, it just happened. When I hugged you for the last time, I felt everything then. I realised how much I love you and when I was hugging you I realised how much I didn't want to let you go, right there and then. When we were both sitting down and I asked you for a cuddle, you came towards me and then you backed off which hurt me. It made me feel as if you think I was going to harm you or something, I'm still the same person, I haven't changed. If you backed off because you thought I was going kiss you again, you were wrong, I wouldn't have done it the second time, not whilst you're with someone else. I'm still at college and sometimes when I go past the benches, I sit down and I imagine you sitting there next to me and then I cry because you'll never be next to me again. When I go the toilets, I start crying too. When we went out to the cinemas to watch monsters inc, I didn't know you were in a relationship with someone else and I kissed you and you kissed me back. We made out twice and when I was in a mood you kissed me. You were in a relationship with another person, but you kissed me and that's cheating. When I found out you were both in a relationship, I mean it when I say someone kicked me to ground and all they were doing is punching me in the stomach. You said that you don't love me like you used to but then you said you don't know how to stop loving me. I don't know how happy you are or how happy he makes you, but I hope that you're happy. I'm scared, really scared. Scared that I won't find somebody like you, but why would I want someone like you? Someone who hurt me and caused me a huge amount of pain? I'm scared that I won't find someone who got me like you did, understood me like you did, kissed me like you did. Deep down I know that I'll find better but that doesn't stop me from being scared and it hurts. You've blocked me on Facebook and changed your number which means you don't want nothing to do with me anymore, which I find hard to understand but I'm not wasting my time trying to understand because what's happened, has happened, no thinking will change that. I just want you to know that nobody will love you like I did, nobody. Maybe I'm being stupid in saying that because I don't know who will fall in love with you. But what I do know is that nobody will put up with your crap like I did, nobody will stick around when you treat them the same way you've treated me. Nobody will STILL love you like I do, despite what put them through. No matter what happens and no matter where I end up, I will always love you. I'll love the person you used to be, not who you are now. Not only were you my girlfriend but you were my bestfriend and my other half. But now, you're nothing. I'll never forget you and the happiness you brought into my life and I'll never forget the pain you brought which I thought wasn't possible from a human being, I didn't think someone could hurt me this much. You're long gone and I'm getting used to that. Please don't forget me because I promise that I will never forget you, not in two years or ten years, I'll always remember you. And when you see the moon, don't forget to look at it because I'll be on the other side looking at it too and thinking of you. One last thing, I forgive you and I've let you go, you're free now. Goodbye boo.

Do you miss me like I miss you?

Miss you, hope you're okay.

Why did you hurt me? It's been almost a month since we ended, we were together for a year but you moved on so quickly to another person, like I meant nothing to you, like we didn't mean anything. You said I'm your first love and it was love at first sight with me, I really thought you loved me. You got me like nobody else has and treated me like no other has. Now here I am, writing this and you're probably with him, the guy you had a relationship with whilst you were with me, do you know how that made me feel? Like I'm nothing, like I meant nothing to you? Feeling as if everything you said was a big fat lie and a ****ing joke to you. You ended our relationship but we saw each other two weeks later, and you kissed me? Not only did you cheat on me, but you cheated on him. Why couldn't you just tell me that you were in a relationship with him whilst you were with me!? You'll never understand how much pain you've put me through and how much I'm struggling with everything, whilst you're getting on with your life, happy and with you're boyfriend. You're not the one who goes to sleep every night, crying. Or thinking how you'll get through the day putting a brave face on. You turned from being the best thing that happened to me, to the worst thing that's happened to me. You're my second love but the first girl I've fell in love and you're first person who's left me heartbroken.

Give me one last kiss ):

You're heartless, a coward and someone who only thought of herself and not once did you think how I felt. You're not the girl I fell in love with.